P:ositive Referral

We received a letter this week from one of Sweet Center's teachers

Student Name: Sweet Center
From: Teacher #2
Date: 9-11-07

The reason I received a positive referral is.....

Sweet Center has really blossomed since 1st grade and I am so impressed with his enthusiasm for learning. He is always ready to go and actively participating in all class activities and discussions. I love watching his excitement for learning come alive during math and science and am happy to see it spread to other students!
What I am most impressed by is Sweet Centers citizenship skills; especially respect and responsibility. He is really setting an excellent example for his peers. I am proud of Sweet Center and ecstatic to have him again in class.

How cool is that!? When they do the school assembly this morning (Friday) the assistant principal will read it out loud to the entire school! Sweet Center is so excited and I am so proud of him!

What a kid!

School

So, I get a call. From a teacher. At work. Evidently Sir Toots is not adjusting quite as well as we'd hoped. :) Dear Sweet Kindergarten Teacher called to let me know that Sir Toots had broken all the crawns (yea, we call them crawns and NOT cray-ons) at his table. For no reason he felt the need to pick them up one by one and break them in half as the other children stared on in horror. This act is, evidently, sacrilege in kindergarten and will not be suffered lightly.

He couldn't do this when crawns were still on sale, no siree. Sir Toots waited until they went up by a 1000% (from 20 cents to 2 bucks a pack) so that Mom & Dad would be forced to pony up the real cash for his transgressions. He worked for the money this weekend and off he went with two new packs this morning.

He's loving PE, though. So far, hands-down it's his favorite subject.

Sweet Center has picked right up where he left off last year; squirming his way into his teachers hearts. This year he has two teachers and lucky for us, one is the same teacher he had in 1st grade. She knows his quirks and how to work with him so he's having a ton of fun. His favorite subject so far is spending time in the library. I think he enjoys finding the biggest book he can possibly pick up- just to justify the freakin' huge roller backpack that he JUST HAD to have. For him, we poneyed up the cash to get him rolling from the get-go. He knows not to break anything because his budget is busted.

As for my class, I am enjoying trying to convince 21 four-year olds that they really need to stay in their seats so that we can practice the letter of the week. Again. I figure if I can teach them all to write their names and the days of the week (in order), then it will be a successful year. I'm earning less and enjoying my job more. I think it's a good trade-off to have energy for The Boys at the end of the day. :)

I do need help, dear Internet. Could you please check in with me randomly and ask about my grad school application? Since I'm going to a new school and a totally new program, I have to do the entire application process again. I got my test scores last week and they are where they need to be...I just hope that I can pull off the essay explanation for why I want to teach and yet have spent the last 10 years in the business of healthcare.




By the way, this is a confidential note to someone very special: Have you made your appointment yet? Times-a-ticking and working on your relationship should be the most important thing on your to-do list. Love you! :)

My addiction, again

yes, more self-help books. Fortunately this is one I have read before and it helped me last time so I thought another perusal would do me some good. Just your basic run-of-the-mill relationship books to help you feel better connected to your spouse.

So, I'm reading and getting pretty wrapped up in the things that we don't do for each other anymore. Things like flowers and little notes to remind each other how much we still care. I get to thinking and start to feel sad about it. In the middle of my reading, I realized we were out of diet coke. This is my life blood and I have to have a diet coke at least once every 3 hours.

As I lay on the floor clutching my chest in agony, Hubba Hubba looks at me and chuckles. And then proceeds to run to 7-eleven to buy me a big Gulp. I love this man.

We're going to pretend it hasn't been over a month...

since I updated this blog. Sir Toots has turned 5 and tomorrow Sweet Center turns 10. I can't believe it. It sounds so cliche to say that....but it really is true. I still remember how fat they both were as babies. :)

I am having a blast at my new job. I love being around The Boys all day and I'm learning a ton that will help me with teaching. The kids are so cute and I already have a favorite or two. Keep your fingers crossed about my graduate school stuff. I have requested all the test scores and transcripts that I need to get into the program so now I just have to finish up my letter of reason and get a couple of references lined up. Shouldn't be too hard, right?? Hopefully not.

Anyway, I will try to update more regularly. I know you are out there waiting with anticipation for my next post.

For A Good Time Call....

Yes, Sweet Center has a cell phone. If you haven't yet received a call from him, don't worry, I'm sure it's coming!
Grandma thought it would be a neat (super) early birthday present, so when she signed up for a new phone, she got the free phone assigned to him. She's covering his airtime.

Ah, the description of airtime is a bit out of his league. Sweet Center doesn't quite grasp that he's limited in the time he's allowed to talk on the phone. The original plan slated for him to share 900 minutes with Grandma. By day three, he had used over 350 and so she switched plans. We're trying to get him into texting (cuz itz free) and he really doesn't need to learn how to properly use the english language. Proper grammer is for sissies. U NO WHT I MEEN?

Is it really JULY??

Where has the summer gone? I've enjoyed my time at home with The Boys this summer. Unfortunately it's rained and rained. Then it decides to rain a little more. I heard today that we got rain 21 days in the month of June. Here's to hoping that July is dryer!!

If not, then our escape to Wisconsin should be dry. I'm hoping for sun, sun and then some more sun! I never thought I would look forward to the weather in Wisconsin! :)

The Boys head out to spend some time with family in the country next week. I will have 3 days to clean, read and get ready for our trip. I will miss them like crazy
(after the first day!)

Until then we have my sister's three little ones spending some time with us this week. They all just arrived tonight and I already get to play Tooth Fairy for my nephew. Good Times. Really, I mean it. Good Times. I just have to get used to having a messy house. Cleaning up after 2 is way easier than cleaning up after 5. :) Send loving thoughts my way. It will be a long week.

My addiction

I'm addicted to self help books. Any kind, any topic, and I pick it up and read. Not always cover to cover, but I try to get the gist of it and decide whether I agree on the basic premise. Well, I'm reading one right now that just kicked me in the butt on parenting. The ideas are phenomenal and I whole heartedly agree with 98% of what the author talks about to truly create a connection with our children.

"Buddha never raised kids & Jesus didn't drive carpool" by Vickie Falcone is an amazing read. She is able to take timeless philosophies and teachings from spiritual masters and meld them with parenting. Really, she says, all the information we need to be present and active in our children's lives is already out there, we just don't always think of them as pertaining to our children and our dilemmas as we raise them to be responsible & loving people.

I have noticed a difference in dealing with The Boys. My own peace has jumped and I am learning to take a deep breath (or two!) before I charge headlong into breaking up a fight or correcting Sir Toots when he acts out.

The key thing that every parent needs to learn, according to Ms. Falcone, is how to PHIL our childs needs.
Children learn best when they are PHIL'led up and parents are the best ones to make this happen for their child:
P: Powerful
H: Heard
I: Important
L: Loved

I love the book and I highly recommend it to anyone with kids.

As for the other stressor in my life, a career, it appears that things are shaping up. I had an interview today and another one on Monday to help me pursue my teaching certification. Hubba Hubba and I have really talked about this and since it's something that I really want to pursue, then I'm going to work in a school environment while I take my classes for cetification. Yes, it's a lot less money than I had been making, but he is so supportive of me and is ready to do what he can to make it happen.

I'm in a really happy place right now. Today I can say it is about White Tulips and Sunshine. I'm going to continue to think positive and breathe. I'm asking the Universe for some things and I believe that I deserve them. That's a huge step for me.

We can't get enough of the outdoors....

We had 8 children spend the night last night. In tents. Outside. I think we are taking this outdoor thing a bit far. But, we had s'mores and told stories and made the night all about the kids. It was nice. Until about 2:30am when I couldn't sleep and the brave mother that was outside with me decided to call it quits and go home. Fortunately she lives across the street, so it wasn't a big deal. I packed up the remaiming children and took them all inside. Unfortunately, I didn't get to sleep in my own bed. Sir Toots wanted to sleep with Hubba Hubba, so I slept in the guest bed upstairs. That was very nice- no children and no bugs. Until 8:00am this morning when I was awaken by yelling about breakfast downstairs.

I went down and calmed everyone by promising something grand. And then went to my own bed and kicked Hubba Hubba into the kitchen to deliver on my promise. It's nice to have him around.

We Really are City Folks

Ms. S. can't get over how much of a City Boy Hubba Hubba is. So different from the boys she knows. I've tried to tell her that he's actually a City Man, since he did grow up in a city and spent some time in South America growing up. Obviously this means that farming is totally foreign to him. Me too, for that matter. I remember going to visit my grandparents ranch in Central Texas and walking through the orchards and going out to see the cattle. But, truly this was vacation and not my real life, so I'm pretty umfamiliar with how to grow things.

However, with our house, we inherited 2 peach trees. They didn't bloom that much last year, so we asked my grandmother what to do to make them pop this season. Hubba Hubba dutifully followed her directions last Fall and we chuckled about how funny it would be if we actually got anything edible of them this year.

Boy, Howdy...did we ever!!

Doesn't that make your mouth water?

That's Sweet Center in the background, trying to figure out what the hell we were doing out amongst the bugs in the backyard:


This is 1 of 3 boxes full of peaches:


Hubba Hubba had quite a bit of fun pulling them down from the trees:


And Sir Toots loved going through them and he pulled out the "icky ones":


We may be City Folks, but we sure do know how to grow us some peaches!

Father's Day

A day to celebrate the men that make a difference in the lives of The Boys.

For Hubba Hubba: I love you more with each day. No more so than when I see you with Our Boys and the way you love them. I have a snapshot in my mind of when Sweet Center was oh so small. You were laying on the floor playing with him and the light that shone between you two took my breath away. The memories continue, this morning it such a joy to see you teach Sir Toots how to shave.






to Pop: Your love and guidance over the years have meant more than I can ever articulate. Watching you with my own children makes me appreciate you so much more. The tenderness you have for each of your grandchildren is beyond anything I could have imagined. Thank you for opening your heart to each of them and showing them how a real man loves.

to Gramps: Your love for The Boys is amazing. I still remember the day you drove up to the house and Sir Toots yelled to all his friends, "That's my friend, Gramps! " You are their friend and so much more. Thank you for your love and for being a true grandpa!

To Grandpa De: Your relationship with The Boys is blooming. Thank you for making the effort and spending time with them. And really, thanks for your efforts with Hubba Hubba as he grew up. I know what a handful he was, but he turned into a helluva winner. I know where he gets his playfulness with his own sons.

To Uncle Tony: Your love for my boys is a joy to see. Thank you! By the way, you have something under your arm...oh wait, that's just a spot that needs to be tickled!

Random Quote for the Day

Love is the Child of Freedom.
~from an old French song

I love this quote because it makes me think of all the people close to me that have allowed me to truly be myself over the years and how much I love them for that. By giving me the freedom to be myself, they have created an atmosphere of love.

Hubba Hubba's willingness to stand by and support me in all the phases and growing that we have been through over the years is certainly one of the key things that keep us together today.

My sisters willingness to smile and shake her head when I totally overstep my bounds.

The way my mother rolls her eyes and then just laughs at me when I continue to overstep my bounds.

How The Boys know that Mama is trying to be patient and love me in spite of my faults.

My dear friends who commiserate with me and then find a way to make me laugh in spite of myself.

My family and friends who know that despite my failings, I'm really trying. The Freedom to make mistakes and know that they will still come back around is liberating.


I only hope that I do the same.

Random Facts about US

1) Hubba Hubba wasn't really sure he wanted to go out with me in the beginning.
2) I wasn't really sure that I wanted to date him, either.
2a) We got over it.
3) Hubba Hubba never proposed to me.
4) Sweet Center's real name was going to be spelled different, until they screwed it up in the hospital and we figured that the poor kid has us as parents and we shouldn't add to his burden, so we went with the common spelling.
5) Sir Toots was supposed to be a girl. Now, he just REALLY likes girls. and kissing. except his Grandma. For some reason, he thinks he's allergic to her kisses.
6) We really like basketball. Knew that already, didn't ya?
7) Hubba Hubba and I never had a honeymoon.
8) Hubba Hubba is really smart.
9) I'm the one with personality. :)
10) Our best friend lives a long way away.
11) We miss him.
12) He didn't like the idea of us dating, either.
13) He got over it, too.
14) I like random bits of poetry and quotes.
15) Sweet Center can tell you all the characters found in every single Star Wars movie.
16) Sir Toots can tell you all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles names.
17) We've moved over 10 times in 10 years. I'm done moving for a long time.
18) We've talked about adopting a little girl. It probably won't happen.
19) Hubba Hubba swears that he's taking me to Bora Bora some day. It better happen.
20) We don't call the people we love enough.
21) We hope that they can love us anyway. or just get over it.
22) Pepper and Harley Girl love to play in the flowerbed in the backyard.
23) I'm really happy with the life we have. I think Hubba Hubba is, too.

Tweeners

A little ice, some TLC, and a visit from the Tooth Fairy makes a sore heel all better. Fortunately Sweet Center doesn’t seem to have any long-term injuries and he will live to play another day.

And Mom? Well, a good kiss, a warm bath and an early bedtime helps with a fresh perspective. Things really aren’t that rough, it just seems to be sometimes. And if a girl can’t complain to the Internet, then what does she have left in this world?

Sir Toots and I are off to a baseball game today. It should be super fun! Sweet Center is spending the day with a friend celebrating his birthday at a local waterpark. Totally right up his alley.

I think that I’m going to try and compromise on this whole career thing. I just might look into continuing my business career and then volunteer with a special group. There’s an ADD group here in Dallas that is apparently pretty active and this would enable us to spend time with kids and their families, while learning a bit about how to help us as a family cope with the changes that come along with being a Tweener with ADD.

Did you know that Sweet Center is considered a Tweener? He’s not really a kid anymore and yet he’s not a teenager. He’s in between, thus he’s considered a Tweener. It’s difficult to put into words the subtle changes he’s going through right now. The next stage of development is so different from what he’s been through before. His childlike responses aren’t always appropriate now and yet he’s still now sure how to be “all adult” about something. It’s a learning process on what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

Hey, I think I might be a Tweener, too! Can I claim that title??

"Queen Tweener!~"

somehow I counted wrong..

this is post 102...I don't know how those geniuses at Blogger manage to stay on top of how many posts I have when I don't even know. Anyway, I'm in a gritchy mood and I'm trying (unsucessfully) to hide it. Hubba Hubba is giving me a sideways look everytime I open my mouth. I burped and I swear to God I thought he was going to give me another one of his pithy remarks until he realized that I didn't actually say anything. Then he couldn't really say anything smart assey back at me so he suffered a moment of frustration and then went back to his paper. I'm telling you, fun times in our house.

Sweet Center just lost his first summer basketball game by 10 points and he somehow managed to bruise his heel. How do you do that at 9, you ask? Well, first you get really lazy before the game and refuse to untie your shoes all the way...then you just jam your foot into a high top. When it won't immediately slide it, you start to stomp on the back end of your shoe until your foot starts to hurt. It will eventually go into the shoe, but a small amount of damage occurs which insures that you are unable to jump for a rebound or take a good shot because your heel, omigod, your heel it hurts sooo bad.

I guess once I figure out what I want to be when I grow up then things will settle into a routine around here. For now, Hubba Hubba and I are discussing the merits of teaching vs. an actual career in the business field. I like the teaching thing and he doesn't like the pay. He likes the pay of the business world and would prefer that I pursue something that will allow us to drive expensive cars and take a nice vacation on an annual basis.

Sorry, this really is a bitch post...I'm just stuck in limbo and I'm tired of not knowing what I'm going to be doing. Isn't there like a test or a coin I can flip that will tell me what to do? I've stuck up conversations with strangers on the street for their advice, but really, is a homeless man the best idea for a career counselor? Probably not, so I'm stuck. and so, more fun times around here.

My 100th Post!

and I'm actually giving it to Sir Toots and his amazing photo skills.
For your viewing pleasure:

Photography by Sir Toots:

Damn! What a GRIN!!


And a little abstract art....


The Commute to PreSchool Never Looked so Good!


This is totally My Favorite! What Nice Legs You Have, My Dear...


How fabulous is he? Isn't that amazing?!?

But, what I really want to do is to....

Seriouslyl, I need to get better about this sort of thing. Anyway, our house is all in a tizzy because Ms. S will be watching The Boys for the summer. They are so excited about this development. No more daycare. It's all fun and stuff with the new Nanny. Fortunately she's family and I totally trust her with my guys. The neighborhood husbands think it's a hoot that she's gorgeous and like totally built and that I'm allowing her major amounts of time in my house. I think the whole thing is great and I love her to death. I just don't want any of the street boys to get any ideas. She's 19 and is getting ready to have a great summer.

I remember being 19 and feeling like the whole world awaited me to make some grand decisions on how it should rotate to keep me totally happy. That's why we're all carefree at one point or another in our lives- so that we can feel like our options are totally unlimited. Having Ms. S here will allow her to see a bit more of the world than the little corner that she's used to and it will allow The Boys time to really enjoy summer. I so would have loved this opportunity at 19. Fortunately I started dating Hubba Hubba at that point in my life and so I didn't go totally hog wild on freedom. Only just a little bit and I took him along for the ride. He had fun, regardless of what he will tell you now. :)

But, with that little bit of freedom, I lost the ability to see the whole world as full of options. I didn't become captive by any stretch of the word, but I was limited in my decisions because at 21 we had a little one that relied on us to make some positive decisions for him. We went from total and utter irresponsibility to "holy-hell-we-have-to-make-sure-he's-fed-and-stuff" in 2 short years. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I have to come realize is that we made decisions that have gotten us where we are today career wise. Fortunately Hubba Hubba loves what he's doing and he's really good at it, but I seem to have just floated along and ended up...here. And here isn't looking as wonderful as I thought it would. So, I'm taking stock of my work situation and asking questions and I think that it's time for a change. A change in my direction. I'm so blessed that for the first time, because of Hubba Hubba's sucess, I get to look at what I want to do. Not what I have to do to pay the bills and keep shoes on our feet. I have some ideas and I'm mulling some things over.

At 31, it's liberating to think that I can do what I really want to do. With the little bit of wisdom I've picked up over the years, I think this is better than wild freedom at 19.

Love Marks

I have stretch marks. shocker, I know...but seriously, nobody told me about this part of having children- the whole losing the young body that was once upon a time adored....
Anywho.... tonight Sir Toots and I were playing and rolling around on the floor.

He pulls up my shirt and says: oh, that's where we kicked you when we were in your belly.
me: yes, that's right. Those are my love marks.
Sir Toots: well, you have them in front, on the sides, and on your back. Turn over, I want to see them all.
Me: well, yes...hmmm....I love you and your brother you alot.
Sir Toots: I think they are beautiful!

Nobody told me this was part of having children... where sometimes you just want to eat them up. That's the really special part.

Plan B

what is they say about the best laid plans? Well, that's where I seem to be with my work situation. I hate to even blog about my frustrations because it's going to get everyone all in tither and stressed about us. Please don't stress. Hubba Hubba provides well and so we still have shoes on our feet and food in the pantry. I don't know what to do with the food, but it's there just the same. I suppose that's something.

I'm just standing at the edge of a cliff.....I can clearly picture my tender stance.....holding my arms and ready to jump.....For some odd reason I seem to be wearing a long white nightgown. Creepy, because I don't own of those. I'm sure Hubba Hubba would burn it pretty qucikly if I walked out of the bathroom wearing one, anyway. Hopefully he would let me take it off before he lit the match.

But, I digress.....I don't think I was prepared for the ups and downs in this business. I hate the feeling that I'm putting pressure on Hubba Hubba to be the sole supporter. Even when I stayed home with The Boys during their respective first year, I tried to really contribute. For crying out loud, I still have Ms. Maria come and clean the house because I just don't have the time (or inclination) to scrub me some toilets clean. I've been picking The Boys up at 3p and they really enjoy being home earlier. And they are learning that I'm working and I can't go out and toss a ball. But having them here prompts me to wrap it up and go out and play before our normal time. So, that's something else, I suppose.

It's just that I don't how I'm contributing now. I'm certainly not adding to the family coffers. and yet, I'm working so I can't technically call it a day and go to the park. I'm not a stay at home mom and I'm not sure you could me a working mom either. I do believe that in typical fashion, you have to bring in money to be technically considered working.

It will come...I know it will. Like the little blue engine that could....I'm pushing on and believing someone with way more experience in this field than me that it's going to work....

I just wish I could feel a definite success. I'm tired of standing here waiting for something to happen. I want to MAKE it happen.

Amazing Mothers

Amaze:
Main Entry: 1: amaze
Pronunciation: &-'mAz
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): amazed; amaz·ing
to fill with wonder : ASTOUND
intransitive verb : to show or cause astonishment
(from MerriamWebster.com)

I have an amazing Mother. I live in constant awe of the things that she accomplishes in her life. Growing up in East St. Louis without the white picket fence upbringing would lead many people to a small life. But that life wasn't enough for her. She chose to become a better person. It's a choice that she continues to make today. Not perfect, but trying to become a better person. I remember once scolding her for being too nice to someone who had wronged her. I thought she needed to stand up and give them a taste of their own medicine. Her response to me was so insightful. "Sweetie, when I die I don't want people to remember me as a bitch, I want my tombstone to read: She was a nice person." That's it. A nice person. Never mind all the other amazing things she has accomplished, she sees the most important thing as how we treat each other. Between that attitude and the love of a great handbag, I think my amazing mother prepared me well for the world.

I have an amazing Mother in Law. It can't be easy. I was thinking today about the old adage that a mother loses her son when he gets married. It makes me sad, not just because I have sons and I don't want it happen, but because it's true that we do let life get in the way of sharing special momemts with those who mean the most. Couple that with a son who doesn't like to talk on the phone and you have a glimpse into my MILs life with us so far away. I tell myself that I won't let it happen and we try to reach out more often, but I don't believe I have ever really shared how special she is to me and the life that I have built with her son. I am most grateful for her hard work in raising a boy into an amazing man. I know that teaching them to be selfless loving human beings is not easy- especially when they want to grow up into action figures! But, I am ever so thankful that she was steadfast in her love and support of Hubba Hubba over the years. When we were first married with a little one on the way, I'm sure there were momemts of doubt, but to her amazing credit and my eternal gratification, she supported us. And she loved us into this grand adventure called marriage. I have learned many things from her over the last 12+ years. She is an amazing mother-in-law. I am so thankful that I can also say she is my friend.

Today, I truly do celebrate the amazing woman who make a difference in my life everyday.

Happy Mother's Day!

yes, I'm still here...

We are all still here. Things are super busy with school winding down and the outdoor activities that we can now do have taken up much time.

Besides, I'm trying to figure out how the hell to operate FLICKR so that I upload a ton of pictures. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff. Hubba Hubba is much better....but truthfully in the evenings we have developed a habit of no electronics unless necessary. It's tiring to sit at this computer all day and then get back on at night. :)

I have started needling The Boys to help me with a family mission statement. It's neat to talk to them about what it means to be a family. We're trying to structure it so that we have a compass in our family. Does that make sense? Stephen Covey calls it beginning with the end in mind......For example, if a major thing to us as a family is spending time together then it when comes time to do things we figure out ways to do them as a family. Like yard work. Before I used to do the gardening stuff and Hubba Hubba would work on the grass. The Boys would entertain themselves by playing basketball or video games during this time. Now, we all get involved and they help me with the weeds and planting. No sharp objects...but it's fun to have them help.

So, my entries will be sporadic..but I promise to figure out this new fangled picture thing soon!!