I'm addicted to self help books. Any kind, any topic, and I pick it up and read. Not always cover to cover, but I try to get the gist of it and decide whether I agree on the basic premise. Well, I'm reading one right now that just kicked me in the butt on parenting. The ideas are phenomenal and I whole heartedly agree with 98% of what the author talks about to truly create a connection with our children.
"Buddha never raised kids & Jesus didn't drive carpool" by Vickie Falcone is an amazing read. She is able to take timeless philosophies and teachings from spiritual masters and meld them with parenting. Really, she says, all the information we need to be present and active in our children's lives is already out there, we just don't always think of them as pertaining to our children and our dilemmas as we raise them to be responsible & loving people.
I have noticed a difference in dealing with The Boys. My own peace has jumped and I am learning to take a deep breath (or two!) before I charge headlong into breaking up a fight or correcting Sir Toots when he acts out.
The key thing that every parent needs to learn, according to Ms. Falcone, is how to PHIL our childs needs.
Children learn best when they are PHIL'led up and parents are the best ones to make this happen for their child:
P: Powerful
H: Heard
I: Important
L: Loved
I love the book and I highly recommend it to anyone with kids.
As for the other stressor in my life, a career, it appears that things are shaping up. I had an interview today and another one on Monday to help me pursue my teaching certification. Hubba Hubba and I have really talked about this and since it's something that I really want to pursue, then I'm going to work in a school environment while I take my classes for cetification. Yes, it's a lot less money than I had been making, but he is so supportive of me and is ready to do what he can to make it happen.
I'm in a really happy place right now. Today I can say it is about White Tulips and Sunshine. I'm going to continue to think positive and breathe. I'm asking the Universe for some things and I believe that I deserve them. That's a huge step for me.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
We can't get enough of the outdoors....
We had 8 children spend the night last night. In tents. Outside. I think we are taking this outdoor thing a bit far. But, we had s'mores and told stories and made the night all about the kids. It was nice. Until about 2:30am when I couldn't sleep and the brave mother that was outside with me decided to call it quits and go home. Fortunately she lives across the street, so it wasn't a big deal. I packed up the remaiming children and took them all inside. Unfortunately, I didn't get to sleep in my own bed. Sir Toots wanted to sleep with Hubba Hubba, so I slept in the guest bed upstairs. That was very nice- no children and no bugs. Until 8:00am this morning when I was awaken by yelling about breakfast downstairs.
I went down and calmed everyone by promising something grand. And then went to my own bed and kicked Hubba Hubba into the kitchen to deliver on my promise. It's nice to have him around.
I went down and calmed everyone by promising something grand. And then went to my own bed and kicked Hubba Hubba into the kitchen to deliver on my promise. It's nice to have him around.
Monday, June 18, 2007
We Really are City Folks
Ms. S. can't get over how much of a City Boy Hubba Hubba is. So different from the boys she knows. I've tried to tell her that he's actually a City Man, since he did grow up in a city and spent some time in South America growing up. Obviously this means that farming is totally foreign to him. Me too, for that matter. I remember going to visit my grandparents ranch in Central Texas and walking through the orchards and going out to see the cattle. But, truly this was vacation and not my real life, so I'm pretty umfamiliar with how to grow things.
However, with our house, we inherited 2 peach trees. They didn't bloom that much last year, so we asked my grandmother what to do to make them pop this season. Hubba Hubba dutifully followed her directions last Fall and we chuckled about how funny it would be if we actually got anything edible of them this year.
Boy, Howdy...did we ever!!
Doesn't that make your mouth water?
That's Sweet Center in the background, trying to figure out what the hell we were doing out amongst the bugs in the backyard:
This is 1 of 3 boxes full of peaches:
Hubba Hubba had quite a bit of fun pulling them down from the trees:
And Sir Toots loved going through them and he pulled out the "icky ones":
We may be City Folks, but we sure do know how to grow us some peaches!
However, with our house, we inherited 2 peach trees. They didn't bloom that much last year, so we asked my grandmother what to do to make them pop this season. Hubba Hubba dutifully followed her directions last Fall and we chuckled about how funny it would be if we actually got anything edible of them this year.
Boy, Howdy...did we ever!!
Doesn't that make your mouth water?
That's Sweet Center in the background, trying to figure out what the hell we were doing out amongst the bugs in the backyard:
This is 1 of 3 boxes full of peaches:
Hubba Hubba had quite a bit of fun pulling them down from the trees:
And Sir Toots loved going through them and he pulled out the "icky ones":
We may be City Folks, but we sure do know how to grow us some peaches!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day
A day to celebrate the men that make a difference in the lives of The Boys.
For Hubba Hubba: I love you more with each day. No more so than when I see you with Our Boys and the way you love them. I have a snapshot in my mind of when Sweet Center was oh so small. You were laying on the floor playing with him and the light that shone between you two took my breath away. The memories continue, this morning it such a joy to see you teach Sir Toots how to shave.
to Pop: Your love and guidance over the years have meant more than I can ever articulate. Watching you with my own children makes me appreciate you so much more. The tenderness you have for each of your grandchildren is beyond anything I could have imagined. Thank you for opening your heart to each of them and showing them how a real man loves.
to Gramps: Your love for The Boys is amazing. I still remember the day you drove up to the house and Sir Toots yelled to all his friends, "That's my friend, Gramps! " You are their friend and so much more. Thank you for your love and for being a true grandpa!
To Grandpa De: Your relationship with The Boys is blooming. Thank you for making the effort and spending time with them. And really, thanks for your efforts with Hubba Hubba as he grew up. I know what a handful he was, but he turned into a helluva winner. I know where he gets his playfulness with his own sons.
To Uncle Tony: Your love for my boys is a joy to see. Thank you! By the way, you have something under your arm...oh wait, that's just a spot that needs to be tickled!
For Hubba Hubba: I love you more with each day. No more so than when I see you with Our Boys and the way you love them. I have a snapshot in my mind of when Sweet Center was oh so small. You were laying on the floor playing with him and the light that shone between you two took my breath away. The memories continue, this morning it such a joy to see you teach Sir Toots how to shave.
to Pop: Your love and guidance over the years have meant more than I can ever articulate. Watching you with my own children makes me appreciate you so much more. The tenderness you have for each of your grandchildren is beyond anything I could have imagined. Thank you for opening your heart to each of them and showing them how a real man loves.
to Gramps: Your love for The Boys is amazing. I still remember the day you drove up to the house and Sir Toots yelled to all his friends, "That's my friend, Gramps! " You are their friend and so much more. Thank you for your love and for being a true grandpa!
To Grandpa De: Your relationship with The Boys is blooming. Thank you for making the effort and spending time with them. And really, thanks for your efforts with Hubba Hubba as he grew up. I know what a handful he was, but he turned into a helluva winner. I know where he gets his playfulness with his own sons.
To Uncle Tony: Your love for my boys is a joy to see. Thank you! By the way, you have something under your arm...oh wait, that's just a spot that needs to be tickled!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Random Quote for the Day
Love is the Child of Freedom.
~from an old French song
I love this quote because it makes me think of all the people close to me that have allowed me to truly be myself over the years and how much I love them for that. By giving me the freedom to be myself, they have created an atmosphere of love.
Hubba Hubba's willingness to stand by and support me in all the phases and growing that we have been through over the years is certainly one of the key things that keep us together today.
My sisters willingness to smile and shake her head when I totally overstep my bounds.
The way my mother rolls her eyes and then just laughs at me when I continue to overstep my bounds.
How The Boys know that Mama is trying to be patient and love me in spite of my faults.
My dear friends who commiserate with me and then find a way to make me laugh in spite of myself.
My family and friends who know that despite my failings, I'm really trying. The Freedom to make mistakes and know that they will still come back around is liberating.
I only hope that I do the same.
~from an old French song
I love this quote because it makes me think of all the people close to me that have allowed me to truly be myself over the years and how much I love them for that. By giving me the freedom to be myself, they have created an atmosphere of love.
Hubba Hubba's willingness to stand by and support me in all the phases and growing that we have been through over the years is certainly one of the key things that keep us together today.
My sisters willingness to smile and shake her head when I totally overstep my bounds.
The way my mother rolls her eyes and then just laughs at me when I continue to overstep my bounds.
How The Boys know that Mama is trying to be patient and love me in spite of my faults.
My dear friends who commiserate with me and then find a way to make me laugh in spite of myself.
My family and friends who know that despite my failings, I'm really trying. The Freedom to make mistakes and know that they will still come back around is liberating.
I only hope that I do the same.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Random Facts about US
1) Hubba Hubba wasn't really sure he wanted to go out with me in the beginning.
2) I wasn't really sure that I wanted to date him, either.
2a) We got over it.
3) Hubba Hubba never proposed to me.
4) Sweet Center's real name was going to be spelled different, until they screwed it up in the hospital and we figured that the poor kid has us as parents and we shouldn't add to his burden, so we went with the common spelling.
5) Sir Toots was supposed to be a girl. Now, he just REALLY likes girls. and kissing. except his Grandma. For some reason, he thinks he's allergic to her kisses.
6) We really like basketball. Knew that already, didn't ya?
7) Hubba Hubba and I never had a honeymoon.
8) Hubba Hubba is really smart.
9) I'm the one with personality. :)
10) Our best friend lives a long way away.
11) We miss him.
12) He didn't like the idea of us dating, either.
13) He got over it, too.
14) I like random bits of poetry and quotes.
15) Sweet Center can tell you all the characters found in every single Star Wars movie.
16) Sir Toots can tell you all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles names.
17) We've moved over 10 times in 10 years. I'm done moving for a long time.
18) We've talked about adopting a little girl. It probably won't happen.
19) Hubba Hubba swears that he's taking me to Bora Bora some day. It better happen.
20) We don't call the people we love enough.
21) We hope that they can love us anyway. or just get over it.
22) Pepper and Harley Girl love to play in the flowerbed in the backyard.
23) I'm really happy with the life we have. I think Hubba Hubba is, too.
2) I wasn't really sure that I wanted to date him, either.
2a) We got over it.
3) Hubba Hubba never proposed to me.
4) Sweet Center's real name was going to be spelled different, until they screwed it up in the hospital and we figured that the poor kid has us as parents and we shouldn't add to his burden, so we went with the common spelling.
5) Sir Toots was supposed to be a girl. Now, he just REALLY likes girls. and kissing. except his Grandma. For some reason, he thinks he's allergic to her kisses.
6) We really like basketball. Knew that already, didn't ya?
7) Hubba Hubba and I never had a honeymoon.
8) Hubba Hubba is really smart.
9) I'm the one with personality. :)
10) Our best friend lives a long way away.
11) We miss him.
12) He didn't like the idea of us dating, either.
13) He got over it, too.
14) I like random bits of poetry and quotes.
15) Sweet Center can tell you all the characters found in every single Star Wars movie.
16) Sir Toots can tell you all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles names.
17) We've moved over 10 times in 10 years. I'm done moving for a long time.
18) We've talked about adopting a little girl. It probably won't happen.
19) Hubba Hubba swears that he's taking me to Bora Bora some day. It better happen.
20) We don't call the people we love enough.
21) We hope that they can love us anyway. or just get over it.
22) Pepper and Harley Girl love to play in the flowerbed in the backyard.
23) I'm really happy with the life we have. I think Hubba Hubba is, too.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Tweeners
A little ice, some TLC, and a visit from the Tooth Fairy makes a sore heel all better. Fortunately Sweet Center doesn’t seem to have any long-term injuries and he will live to play another day.
And Mom? Well, a good kiss, a warm bath and an early bedtime helps with a fresh perspective. Things really aren’t that rough, it just seems to be sometimes. And if a girl can’t complain to the Internet, then what does she have left in this world?
Sir Toots and I are off to a baseball game today. It should be super fun! Sweet Center is spending the day with a friend celebrating his birthday at a local waterpark. Totally right up his alley.
I think that I’m going to try and compromise on this whole career thing. I just might look into continuing my business career and then volunteer with a special group. There’s an ADD group here in Dallas that is apparently pretty active and this would enable us to spend time with kids and their families, while learning a bit about how to help us as a family cope with the changes that come along with being a Tweener with ADD.
Did you know that Sweet Center is considered a Tweener? He’s not really a kid anymore and yet he’s not a teenager. He’s in between, thus he’s considered a Tweener. It’s difficult to put into words the subtle changes he’s going through right now. The next stage of development is so different from what he’s been through before. His childlike responses aren’t always appropriate now and yet he’s still now sure how to be “all adult” about something. It’s a learning process on what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
Hey, I think I might be a Tweener, too! Can I claim that title??
"Queen Tweener!~"
And Mom? Well, a good kiss, a warm bath and an early bedtime helps with a fresh perspective. Things really aren’t that rough, it just seems to be sometimes. And if a girl can’t complain to the Internet, then what does she have left in this world?
Sir Toots and I are off to a baseball game today. It should be super fun! Sweet Center is spending the day with a friend celebrating his birthday at a local waterpark. Totally right up his alley.
I think that I’m going to try and compromise on this whole career thing. I just might look into continuing my business career and then volunteer with a special group. There’s an ADD group here in Dallas that is apparently pretty active and this would enable us to spend time with kids and their families, while learning a bit about how to help us as a family cope with the changes that come along with being a Tweener with ADD.
Did you know that Sweet Center is considered a Tweener? He’s not really a kid anymore and yet he’s not a teenager. He’s in between, thus he’s considered a Tweener. It’s difficult to put into words the subtle changes he’s going through right now. The next stage of development is so different from what he’s been through before. His childlike responses aren’t always appropriate now and yet he’s still now sure how to be “all adult” about something. It’s a learning process on what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
Hey, I think I might be a Tweener, too! Can I claim that title??
"Queen Tweener!~"
Monday, June 11, 2007
somehow I counted wrong..
this is post 102...I don't know how those geniuses at Blogger manage to stay on top of how many posts I have when I don't even know. Anyway, I'm in a gritchy mood and I'm trying (unsucessfully) to hide it. Hubba Hubba is giving me a sideways look everytime I open my mouth. I burped and I swear to God I thought he was going to give me another one of his pithy remarks until he realized that I didn't actually say anything. Then he couldn't really say anything smart assey back at me so he suffered a moment of frustration and then went back to his paper. I'm telling you, fun times in our house.
Sweet Center just lost his first summer basketball game by 10 points and he somehow managed to bruise his heel. How do you do that at 9, you ask? Well, first you get really lazy before the game and refuse to untie your shoes all the way...then you just jam your foot into a high top. When it won't immediately slide it, you start to stomp on the back end of your shoe until your foot starts to hurt. It will eventually go into the shoe, but a small amount of damage occurs which insures that you are unable to jump for a rebound or take a good shot because your heel, omigod, your heel it hurts sooo bad.
I guess once I figure out what I want to be when I grow up then things will settle into a routine around here. For now, Hubba Hubba and I are discussing the merits of teaching vs. an actual career in the business field. I like the teaching thing and he doesn't like the pay. He likes the pay of the business world and would prefer that I pursue something that will allow us to drive expensive cars and take a nice vacation on an annual basis.
Sorry, this really is a bitch post...I'm just stuck in limbo and I'm tired of not knowing what I'm going to be doing. Isn't there like a test or a coin I can flip that will tell me what to do? I've stuck up conversations with strangers on the street for their advice, but really, is a homeless man the best idea for a career counselor? Probably not, so I'm stuck. and so, more fun times around here.
Sweet Center just lost his first summer basketball game by 10 points and he somehow managed to bruise his heel. How do you do that at 9, you ask? Well, first you get really lazy before the game and refuse to untie your shoes all the way...then you just jam your foot into a high top. When it won't immediately slide it, you start to stomp on the back end of your shoe until your foot starts to hurt. It will eventually go into the shoe, but a small amount of damage occurs which insures that you are unable to jump for a rebound or take a good shot because your heel, omigod, your heel it hurts sooo bad.
I guess once I figure out what I want to be when I grow up then things will settle into a routine around here. For now, Hubba Hubba and I are discussing the merits of teaching vs. an actual career in the business field. I like the teaching thing and he doesn't like the pay. He likes the pay of the business world and would prefer that I pursue something that will allow us to drive expensive cars and take a nice vacation on an annual basis.
Sorry, this really is a bitch post...I'm just stuck in limbo and I'm tired of not knowing what I'm going to be doing. Isn't there like a test or a coin I can flip that will tell me what to do? I've stuck up conversations with strangers on the street for their advice, but really, is a homeless man the best idea for a career counselor? Probably not, so I'm stuck. and so, more fun times around here.
Friday, June 08, 2007
My 100th Post!
and I'm actually giving it to Sir Toots and his amazing photo skills.
For your viewing pleasure:
Photography by Sir Toots:
Damn! What a GRIN!!
And a little abstract art....
The Commute to PreSchool Never Looked so Good!
This is totally My Favorite! What Nice Legs You Have, My Dear...
How fabulous is he? Isn't that amazing?!?
For your viewing pleasure:
Photography by Sir Toots:
Damn! What a GRIN!!
And a little abstract art....
The Commute to PreSchool Never Looked so Good!
This is totally My Favorite! What Nice Legs You Have, My Dear...
How fabulous is he? Isn't that amazing?!?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
But, what I really want to do is to....
Seriouslyl, I need to get better about this sort of thing. Anyway, our house is all in a tizzy because Ms. S will be watching The Boys for the summer. They are so excited about this development. No more daycare. It's all fun and stuff with the new Nanny. Fortunately she's family and I totally trust her with my guys. The neighborhood husbands think it's a hoot that she's gorgeous and like totally built and that I'm allowing her major amounts of time in my house. I think the whole thing is great and I love her to death. I just don't want any of the street boys to get any ideas. She's 19 and is getting ready to have a great summer.
I remember being 19 and feeling like the whole world awaited me to make some grand decisions on how it should rotate to keep me totally happy. That's why we're all carefree at one point or another in our lives- so that we can feel like our options are totally unlimited. Having Ms. S here will allow her to see a bit more of the world than the little corner that she's used to and it will allow The Boys time to really enjoy summer. I so would have loved this opportunity at 19. Fortunately I started dating Hubba Hubba at that point in my life and so I didn't go totally hog wild on freedom. Only just a little bit and I took him along for the ride. He had fun, regardless of what he will tell you now. :)
But, with that little bit of freedom, I lost the ability to see the whole world as full of options. I didn't become captive by any stretch of the word, but I was limited in my decisions because at 21 we had a little one that relied on us to make some positive decisions for him. We went from total and utter irresponsibility to "holy-hell-we-have-to-make-sure-he's-fed-and-stuff" in 2 short years. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I have to come realize is that we made decisions that have gotten us where we are today career wise. Fortunately Hubba Hubba loves what he's doing and he's really good at it, but I seem to have just floated along and ended up...here. And here isn't looking as wonderful as I thought it would. So, I'm taking stock of my work situation and asking questions and I think that it's time for a change. A change in my direction. I'm so blessed that for the first time, because of Hubba Hubba's sucess, I get to look at what I want to do. Not what I have to do to pay the bills and keep shoes on our feet. I have some ideas and I'm mulling some things over.
At 31, it's liberating to think that I can do what I really want to do. With the little bit of wisdom I've picked up over the years, I think this is better than wild freedom at 19.
I remember being 19 and feeling like the whole world awaited me to make some grand decisions on how it should rotate to keep me totally happy. That's why we're all carefree at one point or another in our lives- so that we can feel like our options are totally unlimited. Having Ms. S here will allow her to see a bit more of the world than the little corner that she's used to and it will allow The Boys time to really enjoy summer. I so would have loved this opportunity at 19. Fortunately I started dating Hubba Hubba at that point in my life and so I didn't go totally hog wild on freedom. Only just a little bit and I took him along for the ride. He had fun, regardless of what he will tell you now. :)
But, with that little bit of freedom, I lost the ability to see the whole world as full of options. I didn't become captive by any stretch of the word, but I was limited in my decisions because at 21 we had a little one that relied on us to make some positive decisions for him. We went from total and utter irresponsibility to "holy-hell-we-have-to-make-sure-he's-fed-and-stuff" in 2 short years. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I have to come realize is that we made decisions that have gotten us where we are today career wise. Fortunately Hubba Hubba loves what he's doing and he's really good at it, but I seem to have just floated along and ended up...here. And here isn't looking as wonderful as I thought it would. So, I'm taking stock of my work situation and asking questions and I think that it's time for a change. A change in my direction. I'm so blessed that for the first time, because of Hubba Hubba's sucess, I get to look at what I want to do. Not what I have to do to pay the bills and keep shoes on our feet. I have some ideas and I'm mulling some things over.
At 31, it's liberating to think that I can do what I really want to do. With the little bit of wisdom I've picked up over the years, I think this is better than wild freedom at 19.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Love Marks
I have stretch marks. shocker, I know...but seriously, nobody told me about this part of having children- the whole losing the young body that was once upon a time adored....
Anywho.... tonight Sir Toots and I were playing and rolling around on the floor.
He pulls up my shirt and says: oh, that's where we kicked you when we were in your belly.
me: yes, that's right. Those are my love marks.
Sir Toots: well, you have them in front, on the sides, and on your back. Turn over, I want to see them all.
Me: well, yes...hmmm....I love you and your brother you alot.
Sir Toots: I think they are beautiful!
Nobody told me this was part of having children... where sometimes you just want to eat them up. That's the really special part.
Anywho.... tonight Sir Toots and I were playing and rolling around on the floor.
He pulls up my shirt and says: oh, that's where we kicked you when we were in your belly.
me: yes, that's right. Those are my love marks.
Sir Toots: well, you have them in front, on the sides, and on your back. Turn over, I want to see them all.
Me: well, yes...hmmm....I love you and your brother you alot.
Sir Toots: I think they are beautiful!
Nobody told me this was part of having children... where sometimes you just want to eat them up. That's the really special part.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Plan B
what is they say about the best laid plans? Well, that's where I seem to be with my work situation. I hate to even blog about my frustrations because it's going to get everyone all in tither and stressed about us. Please don't stress. Hubba Hubba provides well and so we still have shoes on our feet and food in the pantry. I don't know what to do with the food, but it's there just the same. I suppose that's something.
I'm just standing at the edge of a cliff.....I can clearly picture my tender stance.....holding my arms and ready to jump.....For some odd reason I seem to be wearing a long white nightgown. Creepy, because I don't own of those. I'm sure Hubba Hubba would burn it pretty qucikly if I walked out of the bathroom wearing one, anyway. Hopefully he would let me take it off before he lit the match.
But, I digress.....I don't think I was prepared for the ups and downs in this business. I hate the feeling that I'm putting pressure on Hubba Hubba to be the sole supporter. Even when I stayed home with The Boys during their respective first year, I tried to really contribute. For crying out loud, I still have Ms. Maria come and clean the house because I just don't have the time (or inclination) to scrub me some toilets clean. I've been picking The Boys up at 3p and they really enjoy being home earlier. And they are learning that I'm working and I can't go out and toss a ball. But having them here prompts me to wrap it up and go out and play before our normal time. So, that's something else, I suppose.
It's just that I don't how I'm contributing now. I'm certainly not adding to the family coffers. and yet, I'm working so I can't technically call it a day and go to the park. I'm not a stay at home mom and I'm not sure you could me a working mom either. I do believe that in typical fashion, you have to bring in money to be technically considered working.
It will come...I know it will. Like the little blue engine that could....I'm pushing on and believing someone with way more experience in this field than me that it's going to work....
I just wish I could feel a definite success. I'm tired of standing here waiting for something to happen. I want to MAKE it happen.
I'm just standing at the edge of a cliff.....I can clearly picture my tender stance.....holding my arms and ready to jump.....For some odd reason I seem to be wearing a long white nightgown. Creepy, because I don't own of those. I'm sure Hubba Hubba would burn it pretty qucikly if I walked out of the bathroom wearing one, anyway. Hopefully he would let me take it off before he lit the match.
But, I digress.....I don't think I was prepared for the ups and downs in this business. I hate the feeling that I'm putting pressure on Hubba Hubba to be the sole supporter. Even when I stayed home with The Boys during their respective first year, I tried to really contribute. For crying out loud, I still have Ms. Maria come and clean the house because I just don't have the time (or inclination) to scrub me some toilets clean. I've been picking The Boys up at 3p and they really enjoy being home earlier. And they are learning that I'm working and I can't go out and toss a ball. But having them here prompts me to wrap it up and go out and play before our normal time. So, that's something else, I suppose.
It's just that I don't how I'm contributing now. I'm certainly not adding to the family coffers. and yet, I'm working so I can't technically call it a day and go to the park. I'm not a stay at home mom and I'm not sure you could me a working mom either. I do believe that in typical fashion, you have to bring in money to be technically considered working.
It will come...I know it will. Like the little blue engine that could....I'm pushing on and believing someone with way more experience in this field than me that it's going to work....
I just wish I could feel a definite success. I'm tired of standing here waiting for something to happen. I want to MAKE it happen.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Amazing Mothers
Amaze:
Main Entry: 1: amaze
Pronunciation: &-'mAz
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): amazed; amaz·ing
to fill with wonder : ASTOUND
intransitive verb : to show or cause astonishment
(from MerriamWebster.com)
I have an amazing Mother. I live in constant awe of the things that she accomplishes in her life. Growing up in East St. Louis without the white picket fence upbringing would lead many people to a small life. But that life wasn't enough for her. She chose to become a better person. It's a choice that she continues to make today. Not perfect, but trying to become a better person. I remember once scolding her for being too nice to someone who had wronged her. I thought she needed to stand up and give them a taste of their own medicine. Her response to me was so insightful. "Sweetie, when I die I don't want people to remember me as a bitch, I want my tombstone to read: She was a nice person." That's it. A nice person. Never mind all the other amazing things she has accomplished, she sees the most important thing as how we treat each other. Between that attitude and the love of a great handbag, I think my amazing mother prepared me well for the world.
I have an amazing Mother in Law. It can't be easy. I was thinking today about the old adage that a mother loses her son when he gets married. It makes me sad, not just because I have sons and I don't want it happen, but because it's true that we do let life get in the way of sharing special momemts with those who mean the most. Couple that with a son who doesn't like to talk on the phone and you have a glimpse into my MILs life with us so far away. I tell myself that I won't let it happen and we try to reach out more often, but I don't believe I have ever really shared how special she is to me and the life that I have built with her son. I am most grateful for her hard work in raising a boy into an amazing man. I know that teaching them to be selfless loving human beings is not easy- especially when they want to grow up into action figures! But, I am ever so thankful that she was steadfast in her love and support of Hubba Hubba over the years. When we were first married with a little one on the way, I'm sure there were momemts of doubt, but to her amazing credit and my eternal gratification, she supported us. And she loved us into this grand adventure called marriage. I have learned many things from her over the last 12+ years. She is an amazing mother-in-law. I am so thankful that I can also say she is my friend.
Today, I truly do celebrate the amazing woman who make a difference in my life everyday.
Happy Mother's Day!
Main Entry: 1: amaze
Pronunciation: &-'mAz
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): amazed; amaz·ing
to fill with wonder : ASTOUND
intransitive verb : to show or cause astonishment
(from MerriamWebster.com)
I have an amazing Mother. I live in constant awe of the things that she accomplishes in her life. Growing up in East St. Louis without the white picket fence upbringing would lead many people to a small life. But that life wasn't enough for her. She chose to become a better person. It's a choice that she continues to make today. Not perfect, but trying to become a better person. I remember once scolding her for being too nice to someone who had wronged her. I thought she needed to stand up and give them a taste of their own medicine. Her response to me was so insightful. "Sweetie, when I die I don't want people to remember me as a bitch, I want my tombstone to read: She was a nice person." That's it. A nice person. Never mind all the other amazing things she has accomplished, she sees the most important thing as how we treat each other. Between that attitude and the love of a great handbag, I think my amazing mother prepared me well for the world.
I have an amazing Mother in Law. It can't be easy. I was thinking today about the old adage that a mother loses her son when he gets married. It makes me sad, not just because I have sons and I don't want it happen, but because it's true that we do let life get in the way of sharing special momemts with those who mean the most. Couple that with a son who doesn't like to talk on the phone and you have a glimpse into my MILs life with us so far away. I tell myself that I won't let it happen and we try to reach out more often, but I don't believe I have ever really shared how special she is to me and the life that I have built with her son. I am most grateful for her hard work in raising a boy into an amazing man. I know that teaching them to be selfless loving human beings is not easy- especially when they want to grow up into action figures! But, I am ever so thankful that she was steadfast in her love and support of Hubba Hubba over the years. When we were first married with a little one on the way, I'm sure there were momemts of doubt, but to her amazing credit and my eternal gratification, she supported us. And she loved us into this grand adventure called marriage. I have learned many things from her over the last 12+ years. She is an amazing mother-in-law. I am so thankful that I can also say she is my friend.
Today, I truly do celebrate the amazing woman who make a difference in my life everyday.
Happy Mother's Day!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
yes, I'm still here...
We are all still here. Things are super busy with school winding down and the outdoor activities that we can now do have taken up much time.
Besides, I'm trying to figure out how the hell to operate FLICKR so that I upload a ton of pictures. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff. Hubba Hubba is much better....but truthfully in the evenings we have developed a habit of no electronics unless necessary. It's tiring to sit at this computer all day and then get back on at night. :)
I have started needling The Boys to help me with a family mission statement. It's neat to talk to them about what it means to be a family. We're trying to structure it so that we have a compass in our family. Does that make sense? Stephen Covey calls it beginning with the end in mind......For example, if a major thing to us as a family is spending time together then it when comes time to do things we figure out ways to do them as a family. Like yard work. Before I used to do the gardening stuff and Hubba Hubba would work on the grass. The Boys would entertain themselves by playing basketball or video games during this time. Now, we all get involved and they help me with the weeds and planting. No sharp objects...but it's fun to have them help.
So, my entries will be sporadic..but I promise to figure out this new fangled picture thing soon!!
Besides, I'm trying to figure out how the hell to operate FLICKR so that I upload a ton of pictures. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff. Hubba Hubba is much better....but truthfully in the evenings we have developed a habit of no electronics unless necessary. It's tiring to sit at this computer all day and then get back on at night. :)
I have started needling The Boys to help me with a family mission statement. It's neat to talk to them about what it means to be a family. We're trying to structure it so that we have a compass in our family. Does that make sense? Stephen Covey calls it beginning with the end in mind......For example, if a major thing to us as a family is spending time together then it when comes time to do things we figure out ways to do them as a family. Like yard work. Before I used to do the gardening stuff and Hubba Hubba would work on the grass. The Boys would entertain themselves by playing basketball or video games during this time. Now, we all get involved and they help me with the weeds and planting. No sharp objects...but it's fun to have them help.
So, my entries will be sporadic..but I promise to figure out this new fangled picture thing soon!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
It's for real
Sir Toots is offically starting kindergarten in the Fall. I took all the paperwork by today and it was a fairly painless process. Until I walked out of the school and realized that my little baby is really getting big. Kindergarten! It's a big step! He's so excited and can't wait to go to school with Sweet Center.
It's poor Mama that's having the problem with it! :)
My poor little biological clock is so not happy right now. It's shouting! for another baby. But, alas, it's not happening and so I guess I'll just have to baby the puppies and hope that will suffice.
and hug and love on the two big boys that I have. Sweet Center won't let me kiss him unless we're at home now. I can't bribe him or anything. No kisses! That's the rule.
Man, oh man, that happened fast!! It's cliche, but, I do have to ask where the time went......
It's poor Mama that's having the problem with it! :)
My poor little biological clock is so not happy right now. It's shouting! for another baby. But, alas, it's not happening and so I guess I'll just have to baby the puppies and hope that will suffice.
and hug and love on the two big boys that I have. Sweet Center won't let me kiss him unless we're at home now. I can't bribe him or anything. No kisses! That's the rule.
Man, oh man, that happened fast!! It's cliche, but, I do have to ask where the time went......
Thursday, April 05, 2007
not your average blog
okay, so I know that people enjoy reading blogs where there's some drama or general feeling of "let's-end-this-marriage-before-we-kill-each-other" type of humor. Unfortunately if that's what you want today then you need to go bookmark yourself to somewhere else. It's not always sunshine and white tulips around here, but today is a good day for me and I want to write about it so.... since you showed up......
I realized last night why I like being married. Especially to Hubba Hubba. He came home from work and I followed him into our bedroom like a little lost puppy. He's trying to get the tie off as quickly as possible and I just look at him. Really look. and I realized how surprised I feel that after all this time that I still get a bit of a jolt when I realize that he's mine. Like I won the lottery of life. I didn't know it would be like this. I don't think I've ever seen it before in a real life marriage.
So, this tender feeling flows over me and I must be smiling like a loony because he looks at me like he's worried about having to recommit me to Nutward. Fortunately the moment passed and we made it through dinner without incident.
But, it was nice to be reminded how special he is and how lucky we are.
So, pardon the gushy feeling today. I promise to try and get back to snot jokes and other rampant things tomorrow.
I realized last night why I like being married. Especially to Hubba Hubba. He came home from work and I followed him into our bedroom like a little lost puppy. He's trying to get the tie off as quickly as possible and I just look at him. Really look. and I realized how surprised I feel that after all this time that I still get a bit of a jolt when I realize that he's mine. Like I won the lottery of life. I didn't know it would be like this. I don't think I've ever seen it before in a real life marriage.
So, this tender feeling flows over me and I must be smiling like a loony because he looks at me like he's worried about having to recommit me to Nutward. Fortunately the moment passed and we made it through dinner without incident.
But, it was nice to be reminded how special he is and how lucky we are.
So, pardon the gushy feeling today. I promise to try and get back to snot jokes and other rampant things tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Growing Up
Sir Toots: I wanna stay 4 forever. Maybe 5, so I can do school. But not, 6 or 7 or 9.
Me: But, your brother made it through and he's doing fine. He had a lot of fun at age 6, 7, and now 9.
Sir Toots: yea....but I like 4. It's nice and you still kiss my feet because they don't smell like his.
Me: Well, that's true. (thinking that I have given this child a foot fetish at the tender ole' age of 4). But really, getting big is a good thing. You can do all sorts of things as you get bigger and stronger.
Sir Toots: But when I grow up I have to move out of the house and leave you. I don't want to leave you.
Me: (thinking that is the sweetest thing he's ever said.) But, sweetie, we all grow up and do things that we want to do for fun.
Sir Toots: Okay, but I'm coming back to live with you every now and then. I don't want to have too much fun!
Me: But, your brother made it through and he's doing fine. He had a lot of fun at age 6, 7, and now 9.
Sir Toots: yea....but I like 4. It's nice and you still kiss my feet because they don't smell like his.
Me: Well, that's true. (thinking that I have given this child a foot fetish at the tender ole' age of 4). But really, getting big is a good thing. You can do all sorts of things as you get bigger and stronger.
Sir Toots: But when I grow up I have to move out of the house and leave you. I don't want to leave you.
Me: (thinking that is the sweetest thing he's ever said.) But, sweetie, we all grow up and do things that we want to do for fun.
Sir Toots: Okay, but I'm coming back to live with you every now and then. I don't want to have too much fun!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Company is gone
and I have to say it was....nice. We enjoyed many drinks and some good food. Hubba Hubba has promised to try and cook a little more since it seems pretty apparent that he should have inherited a little bit of cooking finesse. Certainly more than me! and so we'll see how that goes.
Sweet Center is a little sad, like always when company leaves. You'd think that the many personality disorders in this house would keep him entertained for a bit, but I believe he has become bored with us all and relishes the times when others drop in for a visit. I do have to say that this trip was much different though. There was an older boy in the house for 6 days. Of course, he was influenced in things such as musical taste (thus, the rap crap currently in the background) and sports (he didn't know how many homeruns Babe Ruth had and was teased a bit for it- so he's determined to remedy this and is buried underneath a need to soak up as much ESPN radio as humanly possible.) What else....there's something....oh yes, a cell phone. He's absolutely convinced he needs a cell phone, like Uncle Cris. A freakin' cell phone. I'm so hoping that we can hold out on this one for a bit longer. So far it's the only thing he wants for his birthday. Please let there be a super duper special at Verizon in August.
Sir Toots is back to his usual self. Goofy and a little sweet. No worse the wear for the bloody nose he sustained this weekend tossing his new jaguar to his Uncle Cris in a game of some sort. He nows believes that his snot is red. Seriously! He said this to me. He's isn't green like this brother's, it's red because that's his favorite color. MMMMM........okay, if you say so, babe.
Hubba Hubba is back to work with a tie around his neck and smile on his face. He so enjoyed the time to watch his father really be a Grandpa to The Boys and play and tickle them mercilessly. He even played with both the puppies and that really won over Sir Toots. Any dog lover is a good guy in his book.
Uncle Cris was such a sweet guy to The Boys. He played with both of them and taught Sweet Center a few tricks with the basketball. It was fun to watch them really enjoy the time they had together.
So, all in all, my apprehension was unwarranted. My father-in-law is a nice man who's trying to keep his busy life intact and remedy the fact that he hasn't been with his grandsons as much as he, or we, would like. The nice thing is that this visit wasn't about apologies or guilt for would-have's.
It was just a nice visit with two great guys who just happen to be Hubba Hubba's family. We're all trying to do our best in this race called life and that's all we can ask of each other.
Sweet Center is a little sad, like always when company leaves. You'd think that the many personality disorders in this house would keep him entertained for a bit, but I believe he has become bored with us all and relishes the times when others drop in for a visit. I do have to say that this trip was much different though. There was an older boy in the house for 6 days. Of course, he was influenced in things such as musical taste (thus, the rap crap currently in the background) and sports (he didn't know how many homeruns Babe Ruth had and was teased a bit for it- so he's determined to remedy this and is buried underneath a need to soak up as much ESPN radio as humanly possible.) What else....there's something....oh yes, a cell phone. He's absolutely convinced he needs a cell phone, like Uncle Cris. A freakin' cell phone. I'm so hoping that we can hold out on this one for a bit longer. So far it's the only thing he wants for his birthday. Please let there be a super duper special at Verizon in August.
Sir Toots is back to his usual self. Goofy and a little sweet. No worse the wear for the bloody nose he sustained this weekend tossing his new jaguar to his Uncle Cris in a game of some sort. He nows believes that his snot is red. Seriously! He said this to me. He's isn't green like this brother's, it's red because that's his favorite color. MMMMM........okay, if you say so, babe.
Hubba Hubba is back to work with a tie around his neck and smile on his face. He so enjoyed the time to watch his father really be a Grandpa to The Boys and play and tickle them mercilessly. He even played with both the puppies and that really won over Sir Toots. Any dog lover is a good guy in his book.
Uncle Cris was such a sweet guy to The Boys. He played with both of them and taught Sweet Center a few tricks with the basketball. It was fun to watch them really enjoy the time they had together.
So, all in all, my apprehension was unwarranted. My father-in-law is a nice man who's trying to keep his busy life intact and remedy the fact that he hasn't been with his grandsons as much as he, or we, would like. The nice thing is that this visit wasn't about apologies or guilt for would-have's.
It was just a nice visit with two great guys who just happen to be Hubba Hubba's family. We're all trying to do our best in this race called life and that's all we can ask of each other.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Family
Well, I don't know if it's me or just a general feeling of well being due to my current medication, but things are going very well. :) We are all having tons of fun. The Boys are in love with their Uncle and Grandpa. It's quite cute to watch them all play.
Uncle De (as he is being called) has quite the basketball hands. He's teaching Sweet Center some great tricks and ball handling moves. Sir Toots is just in awe of someone over the age of 10 that is paying him some quality attention.
As for me, I'm enjoying the time with my father-in-law. Since it's a relaxed atmosphere, it's much different. We are all enjoying laughs and some really good food!!
Hubba Hubba is just enjoying it all.
Uncle De (as he is being called) has quite the basketball hands. He's teaching Sweet Center some great tricks and ball handling moves. Sir Toots is just in awe of someone over the age of 10 that is paying him some quality attention.
As for me, I'm enjoying the time with my father-in-law. Since it's a relaxed atmosphere, it's much different. We are all enjoying laughs and some really good food!!
Hubba Hubba is just enjoying it all.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
The British are coming! The British are coming!!
Not really....but....See? Now you're as worked up as I am about the imminent arrival of my father-in-law. He's always made me a bit nervous. And now he's coming to our new house in Texas. Well, yes we have been here 2 1/2 years, but it's his first visit and I can't help but be a little bit nervous. Hims cultured and stuff. And he'll be here almost an entire week with our little simpleton family.
I love Hubba Hubba's family. The rest of them are really nice normal people and I really enjoy seeing them, but his dad has this thing with a pipe and a slow cadence that makes my little heart stop. Not in a smooth way, just in a totallly intimidated way that makes me feel that whatever I was going to say would be inappropriate. After 12 years you'd really think I would be over it. But, I'm not. I think it has to do with the fact that we got married so young and please, dear God, let this man think that his son chose well in picking me to be his bride.
The carpets are (relatively) clean and the rooms are as organized as they are going to be at this point. Nothin' else I can do but pick him up at the airport this afternoon and hope for the best. I'm still trying to figure out what to do him and Hubba-Hubba's little brother over the next few days. I'm sure we'll have fun. I just need to keep my mouth shut and not say anything too shocking or out of the realm of acceptance. Think The Boys can do that? Ya, me neither.
I am looking forward to a stress free visit in 2 weeks with Grammy and Auntie Courtney. That will definitely be fun. :)
Think good thoughts for me today!
I love Hubba Hubba's family. The rest of them are really nice normal people and I really enjoy seeing them, but his dad has this thing with a pipe and a slow cadence that makes my little heart stop. Not in a smooth way, just in a totallly intimidated way that makes me feel that whatever I was going to say would be inappropriate. After 12 years you'd really think I would be over it. But, I'm not. I think it has to do with the fact that we got married so young and please, dear God, let this man think that his son chose well in picking me to be his bride.
The carpets are (relatively) clean and the rooms are as organized as they are going to be at this point. Nothin' else I can do but pick him up at the airport this afternoon and hope for the best. I'm still trying to figure out what to do him and Hubba-Hubba's little brother over the next few days. I'm sure we'll have fun. I just need to keep my mouth shut and not say anything too shocking or out of the realm of acceptance. Think The Boys can do that? Ya, me neither.
I am looking forward to a stress free visit in 2 weeks with Grammy and Auntie Courtney. That will definitely be fun. :)
Think good thoughts for me today!
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