Halloween

So we're digging through the haul and I'm making sure that it's safe for The Boys to dive in and start chomping on the candy. No knives or blades to be found. I did, however, come across a pamphlet labeled "You are Special! Do you want to know why?" It's one of those ramdom spiritual guides set out to make a biblical impression on young children. Well, I do my own version of that and we do talk about God and the things that He does for us. I try to not be too preachy, but I do share my own personal faith with them. Anyway, I read the title out loud and Hubba Hubba says, "Well, this is Texas." Sir Toots looks at me and says, "I am Speshal. I already knew that."

Yes, Sir Toots, standing there in your Anakin outfit smelling of chocolate, you are definitely Speshal. I don't need a pamphlet to tell me why.

Plain Regular Mom

So, tomorrow is Halloween. We have our costumes and we're ready to go. All of us that is except for Hubba Hubba. For some reason he's not up into the whole putting on a costume thing. I think it has something to do with the fact that he has to wear a tie to work everyday. Perhaps that feels like dressing up to him and that's enough! I won't push, I understand. My boss had the audacity to suggest that we, as sales reps, should dress up when we call on our accounts. UUHHMMM, no thanks. For my children I will put on the buns that Sweet Center says make me look like the school lunch lady so that I can achieve the appropriate Princess Leia look, but for work, not so much.

I did ask The Boys what I could wear, if I was going to dress up for work. Sweet Center suggested "Plain ole' Regular Mom". What!?! I shouted? Plain ole' regular mom! I tried not to sound insulted at this commom view of all that women do to make a happy home but I must not have succeeded because Sir Toots piped up and reassured me that I'm not OLD. Just Plain Regular Mom.

Thursday Thirteen

The post is late! The post is late!
Here it is:

13 Things I Love to Hear:

13) at Nordstrom’s: Yes, we have that shoe in a size 8.
12) from the gas company: Well, you overpaid last month and so you have a credit on your account for this month. (yes, mom, this does occasionally happen!)
11) from the worker at McDonald's: One chocolate shake coming right up!
10) from a random person on the street: Well, I voted for GWB, but I question his position on the war in Iraq and I think that I'm going to vote Democrat. (occasionally heard here in Texas!)
9) from a doctor: Sure, I recommend your product to all my patients when they come in. It's the best on the market!
8) from Sweet Center: I got bonus tickets today at school because I behaved so well! and I got a 95 on my spelling test!
7) from Sir Toots: I behaved today!
6) from the cleaning crew: yes, we can be over by Friday to clean the house.
5) at home: the sound of little feet making their way to my room because they want to snuggle in bed before the start of the day.
4) from my boss: Way to go! That was a great way to handle that account/situation. By the way, here's more $! (I can dream, can't I?)
3) from my professor: Great essay! Well thought out!
2) from an old friend: Hello. How are you?
1) from Hubba Hubba: I love you. Have a good day and I'll see you tonight.
Well, really my favorite thing to hear from Hubba Hubba is the sound of his sigh and the accompanying grin when I tell him that I want us to be like the adorable old couple I saw earlier today holding hands as they walked to their car. I'm sure he's aware of how desperately I want us to have that same kind of love and admiration after a long life together. He lets me know with his sigh and a grin that he'd enjoy that too. At least I think that's what he means. :)

Technically it's Thursday

so on with my Thursday Thirteen. This week I picked '13 things I could live without' in honor of my grumpy gross day yesterday.

13) The toll tag people.
12) Sticky stuff on the bottom of trash bags when you pull them out of the trash can (What is that stuff!?! Do I want to know?)
11) Socks everywhere in the house and not a single mate to be found for the one in my hand at 7:45am.
10) Finding a red shirt that needs to be washed right after I have finished folding all my colors.
9) Teachers who don't communicate.
8) Not being able to find the phone when it's ringing.
7) Little boys who feel it's necessary to wake me by slinging a stuffed animal into my face at 4am. :)
8) Not having cash after I have just gone to the ATM. I only find out when I'm trying to leave a parking garage. I always get the "you are an idiot" look from the man managing the booth and he doesn't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 bucks this morning but it disappeared around the same time as Hubba Hubba.
7) People on their cell phones who totally ignore the real live people around them. (I could do a whole post on this topic b/c it bugs me so much!)
6) When the last piece of bread is in that not-soft-but-not-hard place and I can't decide if my ham sandwich is worth it.
5) Rude people at the store who are crowding my space before I'm done buying my stuff. Please, I promise to move, just give me a minute to get it all together. I don't plan on living out my life at the checkout counter.
4) When any sports player gets excited by something they have done on the field/court/arena. I mean really, is all the chest slamming necessary? You get paid to tackle/slam dunk/defend for a living. Be happy on the inside that you did your job today. Tomorrow might be a different story and then won't you look silly?
3) Finding that I drank the last diet coke on the last run to the fridge and I didn't even notice, so now I can't have one.
2) Finding that Hubba Hubba drank the last diet coke on his last run to the fridge and now I can't have what I most desire in the whole world. It seems to be a much bigger occassion when Hubba Hubba does this, I'm not sure why. :)
1) And last, but not least, I could do without Bill O'Reilly in the world. Or Paris Hilton. It's a toss up on who I want to disappear from public life more.

life and all the normal stuff

Ever feel like the world is ganging up on you? Yea, me too.
From ridiculous toll tag fees to The Boys getting into random trouble at school. I really, really want to rant about the injustice of the fact that they get 2 YEARS to issue a citation, but the we, the little people, get 30 days to cough up whatever random amount they choose to fine us. Like $757, to be exact b/c they didn't update the computer information on Hubba Hubba's new car- the one he bought in the Spring of 2005 and so the system didn't register his car when he drove through it every day to work and so we were fined for each time he drove on the tollway. Yes, every day. To and from work. As I sat on hold today while they tried to figure out what to do about our account, I said a prayer. Then another. It helped a bit. Then I practed picturing my breathing. That helped too. I had a meeting to go to, I couldn't be all crazy b/c I was upset at the injustice of it all.

As for The Boys, neither one can quite articulate what they have done to warrant their punishment. Sir Toots is supposed to go to the pumpkin patch next week and yet his teacher doesn't feel that his behavior warrants a field trip. Regardless of the fact that I've gotten NO WARNING that he's been misbehaving. Can I fix something if I don't even know about it's existence? Evidently seven children in his class got ugly notes from the teacher today for random reasons. I think I shall call this phenomen "TPMS" for Teacher PMS. Is that rude? Well, I think it's rude that she wants to deny the kid a field trip he's been looking forward to for weeks when she didn't feel it necessary to bring it to my attention. And Sweet Center has lost 35 mintues of recess from tomorrow. He has no clue what the first 30 minutes are for. The last five are because as slacker mom, I forgot to sign his folder over the weekend and so he gets punished. Damn, that's nice, isn't it? Punish the kid b/c his mom can't get her shit together and sign a simple piece of paper. I like this teacher and so I won't say this one is TPMS. This is my blog and I get to decide how to deal out the justice here, thank you very much.

Then to add the cherry on top of the day, I got my fingers stuck in a VCR while doing my meeting. When the VCR decided to give them back to me, it wanted to keep a token and thus I am without skin on my pointy fingers. OUCH! So, I'm sorry Internet. I'm sorry that I just needed to whine. Today was a do-over day and I do know it's ugly to whine, but I just needed to puke it out on the keyboard. Tomorrow I'll pray and breathe a little better.

I think I've been here before

I remember during undergrad coming home after class and Sweet Center would be crashed either on my side of the bed or in his own. Sleeping like an angel. An angel whose mother wasn't there to give him a good night kiss. I have to admit that I really love seeing them all curled up and sleeping with sweet little boy dreams running through their head. Dreams of open fields and puppy dog tails. Or, according to Sir Toots, it's more like dragons and little blue men.

BUT, darnnit, grad school is getting in the way of bedtime. I know that I have to do this for myself and really, one night a week isn't that big of a deal. I know this. Really, I do. But, I have just finally been included in the nightly reading ritual! yes, this makes me really happy! I have finally been given the privilege of reading "Star Wars- Return of the Jedi". I never thought I would miss reading about Handy Solo and Luuuuuke Skywalker~ we have come up with our own nicknames for all the characters. I know, I know, it's sacrilege to defame Star Wars, but I must say to Sir George Lucas that we have made the story a bit better.

AND you'll never guess what we are going to be for Halloween. Guess! Come on, really you already know. Sweet Center shall be Darth Vader and Sir Toots is going to be the young Anakin before he betrayed all that he loved and turned all dark and twisty inside. Me? oh, Mama gets to be Leia. How cool is that? Hubba Hubba wants to be Handy Solo, but I think he would be a fabulous Wookie. Besides, I think Leia had a thing for the Wookie. Or was it Luuuuuke that she kisses? I was never entrenched in the lore of the galaxy far, far away like Hubba Hubba so I have trouble keeping the story straight. I guess I'll just have to keep reading the story to find out who she actually ends up with. For now, my money is on the Wookie. I'll keep you posted. :)

Have you ever scared the nieghbors?

There's a garage sale going on with our neighbors. Well, I'm not quite like the other mother's and organized enough to get our stuff together in 3 days to throw a random street sale. The boys closets need a bit more time than that! So, our family is not participating. Did you figure that out?
Anyway, I was busy cleaning up the house from the Friday night Star Wars/pizza movie fest and other random events throughout the week. In between my trips to empty out all the trash cans in the house into the trash containers outside (please don't ask why I don't just take a big garbage bag around to each room and do it all at once because, truthfully, I figure this is the only exercise I've been getting and it would do me good) I'm trying to convince The Boys that Harry Potter chocolate frogs are not an appropriate breakfast food. Please try a banana instead while the biscuits are in the oven, okay?
The neighorhood husbands were recruited to put up the signs directing the random people who have come into the neighborhood which houses were able to pull their crap together. On a trip outside I run into two dads who were schlepping a sign. They look at me and don't say anything. These are men that I talk to on a fairly regular basis when the children play together. Hubba Hubba even has a poker night with them. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm still in my pajamas. They just looked at me in my polka dotted bottoms and grandma like cardigan (b/c everybody puts on a cardigan before they get really dressed for the day, don't they?) and look away really quick, get in their car and drive away.
I looked down to make sure that nothing is peeking out that shouldn't be. Nope, everything is covered. I just don't think these men know what to think of a woman who actually opens the doors to her house and goes outside in the-clothes-that-only-her-husband-should-see. Nothing inappropriate, just not pressed-ready-for-Saturday-soccer-game-wear. I think I actually scared them.
Do you think they feel for poor Hubba Hubba?

Thursday Thirteen

This is a list of 13 things that I have been thinking about. I'm going to try and make it a regular Thursday thing. No promises, though. I have underwear to clean and papers that need to be written, so it may be sporadic. I like the idea though. On with the show:

13 Things I adore:

13) The sound of Peppers tags as he rattles his hair back into place after playing with The Boys.
12) Toilet paper in ALL the bathrooms (yes, at the same time!)
11) Pumpkins and goblins with a chill in the air (I miss the changing leaves)
10) The smell of a fresh meal when I walk in the door.
9) The smell of a freshly cleaned house when I walk in the door.
8) Little boy feet when they are all soft and fresh out of a pair of socks.
7) Rooting on the sidelines for The Boys at either soccer or basketball as they score a goal or drive through the lane (god help us, football is coming next year)
6) The feel of Hubba Hubba's hairy feet as they search out my legs in bed at night. (he's a toucher and I like it)
5) A clean board for Scrabble. The possibilities are endless at that point.
4) A good football game on Sunday afternoon and there's nothing else to do.
3) Dinner with children running up and down the stairs when actual adult conversation is going on in the kitchen.
2) The wonderful feeling of sliding into freshly laundered sheets in my bed.
1) The Boys laughter.

I would also adore it if you would feel free to add and item or two (or, hell, go for all 13!) of your own. That's the nice thing about these kinds of lists, they inspire others to think of magical moments in their own lives. For all 3 of you readers that I have for this blog, it would be a nice way to share.

Scrabble

Hubba Hubba lays down the word "LOVE"
My turn and all I can think of with my random allotment of letters is "NOOSE"
Hubba Hubba returns the favor with "FEAR"

We look at each other and get a little chuckle out of our cleverness. Man, we got a good thing going. I just don't want it analyzed.

So, it's 4am...

I must be randomly bored. or maybe it was the elbow to my side and the knee that was stretched over me that woke me. The best and worst way to be woken up? When a little warm body stretches out next to you with knees all flexed and the the arms all above their head. I can always hear that little "humpf" sound as the turn over in the space that I should be occupying. And always with some random animal or book in their arms. Whether it's Moose, Blankie, or Baby Jaguar, there's always something they gotta bring with them. Because Mama and Daddy don't sleep with anything but each other! How does that work? Totally unacceptable! We must bring them items to help them sleep better! ***By the way, it's only the worst way b/c after all, I was actually sleeping here and that was nice. Can we go back to that, please?

It's the youngest. yea, Sir Toots is the problem child right now. I really have tried the taking him back to bed thing, but at 4 years old he just doesn't get why he can't sleep with us. He's has been known to return to our room repeatedly. One night, 4 times. I'm not kidding. I gave up after that.
I wasn't this way with his brother. With Sweet Center I was determined to "do it right" and that meant not letting him sleep with us. I took him back to bed so many times it wasn't even funny. For a period of about 3 months I was a walking zombie because I was making the trek so often. It was the right thing to do, it's what the experts told us to do. Now they say it's okay. Let them cosleep as long as they want. The thought is that the little urchins will want to sleep under their own dragon blanket someday so let them decide when it should be. That's the thing about waiting 5 years to have another son. All the advice changes. And I've learned so have I. I'm much more relaxed about such things. After all, it's nice to see them so peaceful and quiet with that halo sleep effect that makes you want to curl up next to their warm little bodies. I just wish it could wait until closer to 6am.

That is so Magic!

Well, we have a new catchphrase in the house. Sir Toots says "That is so Magic" for any new and exciting thing he encounters. I picture a scene straight out of Swingers (you know, where they say "that's so money") and can almost see him standing there as a grown man saying that to his buddies as he scans the scene. It's wonderful the things they come up with at his age. The cuteness is insurance for when they run away from you at the state fair and you must scan a crowd to find him standing five feet away in front of Big Tex. You remember the cute so that you don't overreact to the random acts that drive you crazy, I guess.

His brother, on the other hand, just needs to learn how to properly shower. Sweet Center wants to grow his hair out. Fine, I say, your curls look cute around your ears. But you really have to wash your hair everyday. Well, what we didn't realize is that it is necessary to tell a 9 year old that a real true shower includes soap and shampoo. When I watch him scratch his head and his hair stands STRAIGHT UP! then it means he didn't heed our advice. Hubba Hubba and I have pantomined the proper way to get clean. Hopefully it will take effect before he scares away the nieghbor children. I told him that grooming and other such silly things have been an age old discussion with sons and moms. "I bet Jesus and his mother even talked about what she would do if he didn't wash his hair. I bet she threatened to cut it all off, too." Dammit if that boy didn't look right at me and say, "well, I guess we know how that went since Jesus had long hair." Sarcastic comments come off without a hitch if he manages to slip his hand into mine and grin all the while.

Update on the fair and my birthday***
we had a blast at the fair. The Boys and I got off to a late start b/c Sir Toots thought it would fun to play with my work computer and remove the little card that holds ALL of my account information in my old car. You know, the one that was sitting at the dealership 52.4 miles away. We had to make a run to get it before festivities could properly start. We ate corny dogs and rode up in the big ferris wheel. Other than our small scare with Sir Toots mentioned earlier, it was a magical day with just me and The Boys.

As for my birthday, I was sleeping soundly, as one is likely to do at 6:30am, when my door was thrown open. I jerked up in bed to see Sir Toots holding a dozen roses with this huge fire above his head. Hubba Hubba made cinnamon buns and put candles in them so that I could make my birthday wish before even getting out of bed. I got to open my cards and presents while savoring my breakfast. The Boys had as much fun as I did with it. My cards were very sweet and appropriately signed with hand outlines and signatures to treasure for years to come. Hubba Hubba even put a new cd in my player and put a sticky note that said "Play Me" so that I wouldn't go straight to ESPN when I got in. It was a cd of Snow Patrol that I have wanted forever. It's perfect music for driving around town and I highly recommend it. Later the day he managed to put a card in my seat that was so sweet I had the thought that someone else helped him pick it out. How wonderful is to be told that you are someones 'Heart Contentment'? All in all, it was probably one of my best birthdays ever.
My Boys, they are definitely so Magic.

Computer Troubles

my mac is down. really down. Hubba Hubba has promised to get it fixed for my birthday.
In the meantime, I'm spending time with The Boys, working, getting my new company car (very cool Subaru Legacy), going to school, and skipping therapist appts. :)

Just an update, I have cancelled all appts for the forseeable future with the PhD. After much discussion, I've decided that I struggle with enough "mommy guilt" and I certainly don't need anything added to it. I feel that if there was something to be gained and it would benefit Sweet Center, then I would certainly subject myself to it. Fortunately, someone brought up a really good point regarding therapists. She said that if this guy really thought I had issues that needed to be addressed then as a responsible therapist he should have referred me to someone else outside of our sessions with Sweet Center. Since he didn't do that, and he even reminded me to call my insurance company prior to my visit to make sure of payment, then perhaps I should really look at his motive. I can't read his mind and I can only go off of what/how Hubba Hubba and I feel about this.

For now, we are focusing on Sweet Center and making sure that all is right in his world. He's actually discovered a love for football!! His nickname is "Sticky" b/c he's such a great receiver. He wants to play next year and there are plenty of dads around here who will help him get caught up on his skills so that he's on par with the other boys for next season. It's gonna be fun to watch! :)

On Monday I'm taking them to the State Fair. If you don't live in Texas then you may not be aware of what a huge thing this whole Fair thing is. The kids get the day off of school just so that they can go. It's just going to be me, Sweet Center, and Sir Toots. I'm contemplating a leash for Sir Toots. I'm kidding. We'll have fun and get to eat all sorts of fried things. I believe the new thing this year is Fried Coke. If it's Diet Coke, then I'm all over it!
I'll let you know how it goes. And I will be back to my regularly scheduled posting sometime this week after my mac is back on it's feet again.

We're dogsitting for my mother....

Me: Pepper! Jack! Pepper! Get back here, you two!
Hubba Hubba: Man, we've got cheese for dogs. That's funny.

Look in the mirror and repeat after me...

I am not a bad mother. I am not a bad mother.

Remember the therapist that I mentioned we were taking Sweet Center to see for some general unhappiness? Well, yesterday's session was so not a good one for me. It was my turn to sit and talk one-on-one and this man has the audacity to question my mothering skills. Like perhaps there are deeper issues going on with Sweet Center that we haven't even thought of and perhaps, maybe, it could be my fault.

We have determined that there isn't anything sinister like true depression really going on. Actually Hubba Hubba and I have been talking with Sweet Center on our own and we think that the kid is just bored, of all things! Evidently we haven't taught him how to use the word 'bored' properly and he thinks that anytime he doesn't know what to do with himself then he gets "this funny feeling". I will admit to knowing that the whole bored feeling is fairly similar to feeling a little restless and I can understand the confusion for a nine year old. So, our discussions at home are going well and we've found some things to do to keep him challenged and really engaged. Things like learning to focus on his drawing (with the special pencils and paper- there's always gotta be an incentive!) and working on his reading and spelling. Things that normal people do to pass the time. It doesn't have to be electronic, we've told him. The good news is that it's working and he's really enjoying himself. We've had no real issues in the past week since we sat down and really talked about just being bored and what it means.

Okay, I am the first person to sign up for therapy if I think it will be beneficial. I don't mind sitting on the couch if it will help a situation. As for being a mom, I will admit to struggling in the beginning. I was in no way prepared to take care of another human at 21. Fortunately, I had Hubba Hubba, who was a natural, and he helped me get the hang of the whole parenting thing. My struggle was minor and the issues were just general, they were in no way detrimental to Sweet Center's well being. Over the last nine years, I have worked my ass off to get this right. As a matter of fact, we ended up in this guys office because I wanted to make sure that we handled this whole issue right with Sweet Center.

So, yesterday I'm sitting in the office and as we talk this PhD (who I had really liked up to this point) looks at me and ask if I would be willing to come in on my own. "Your son interacts with your husband in ways that he finds enjoyable. Your interactions are different. Why is that? How does next Thurs at 3pm sound to you to really discuss?" Well, hell I wanted to say, my interactions aren't bad with him. They just aren't as much fun to him as playing video games with dad. Also, could it be because it's just his age? I don't think it's a bad thing that he connects with his father like he does. I really believe the world needs more men like Hubba Hubba. Men that are caring and tuned in to their children. Anyway, I get some serious love from this kid. I know we have a good relationship.
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I believe I'm getting off track and defending myself to the Internet. Man, the Internet Court is a hard mistress. You want to share the fun stories, and then you find that you can't ignore the serious stuff either. It's fun in the beginning and then you realize that it's just like any other old relationship, fraught with stress and drama.
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So, anyway, the encouraging news is that after I overcame my shock I was able to talk to Hubba Hubba. After he overcame his shock , he looked me straight in the eye and said, "You are a great mother. Evidently this guy hasn't been paying attention to our family dynamic, otherwise he would see how Sweet Center interacts with you." But, I wanted to shout, he's the expert! What if he's seeing something that we don't? What if I'm damaging my kid and don't even know it?!? "Cancel, cancel now- we are NOT going back to see him. He's not doing this to you" Hubba Hubba said. (I told you he was great- that's why I keep him.)

And I have to say that, Sweet Center answered my doubts a short while later when were packing it up from being outside playing with all the neighborhood kids. As we walked up the sidewalk home, he reached over and grabbed my hand. In a very casual way, he tucked his hand into mine. His almost-man-but-yet-still-a-boy-hand with all it's cracking skin and rough edges, just tucked into mine. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And I realized, between Sweet Center and I, it really is.

Seriously?!?! (Grey's Anatomy-a random thoughtless posting)

He really said it! McDreamy totally told Meredith that he loved her and chose wrong when he chose to stay with Addison! Oh.My.God.

I'm a bit addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I Tivo'd the season finale b/c I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the cliff hanger. I knew that I would have to watch it with the first episode of this season. So, I waited all summer and last night while my own McDreamy was out having drinks and a good time with coworkers, I bribed The Boys and got them to bed so that I could watch a little over 3 hours worth of Seattle Grace.

Is that like totally sad? In my defense, The Boys have been getting to bed late and I did only make them go to bed on time. Usually there is no On Time in our house. It just doesn't work that way when we are all running around trying to figure out where we are supposed to be at any given momemt. Anyway, they went to bed and I stayed up and watched and watched and yes, I even cried. Oh please don' t tell me that I am the only onewho feels this way. I mean, it will totally make me feel bad about this obsession, but nothing is totally getting me down today b/c he totally said it and now she gets to choose. Meredith gets the power back.

and. somehow, I've totally gotten my old high-school-valley-girl-speak back. I mean, seriously, that's a little too weird for me. I think I need a nap.

I always said my second husband would be cute...

He's the sweetest, kindest, most michevious groom you've ever met! He waited until after dinner and then picked a flower out of the bouquet and asked his father to "marry us, okay?" Stairway to Heaven was on the radio and the lights were turned off in the kitchen and living room. Bathroom lights stayed on, just in case the groom needed to make a midwedding run. Four year olds tend to pee quite frequently, as I'm sure you've heard.

I thought the flower was for me, but alas, it was for the groom. Sir Toots informed me that since he was the prince he got to hold the flower- between his teeth. Think Spanish bull fighter, but with a yellow daisy. He put his arm around my back and said that we must dance if we are going to get married. I wasn't aware of this new tradition, but it was a fun spin around the kitchen none the less.

Hubba Hubba held up the flashlight and officially asked Sir Toots if he would take his mommy to be his mommy for ever and ever. Sir Toots shook his head Yes and then removed the flower to lean in and kiss me. It was actually a bit more convincing then my first wedding day! :) Sweet Center served as Best Man and stood by and cheered us on.

My new name is "Princess". I tried to get the title Queen, but I was told that I married a Prince and that means I'm a Princess.

Now, after discussing our honeymoon plans (the toy room is getting top votes, right now) I'm sitting here letting him draw all over my legs with the pen he stole out of my purse. I figure that I have to sacrifice for the good of the new marriage. It's a fragile thing and must be properly cherished. I won't analyze that I married a man and the first thing he did was go for my purse.

So, I'm taking Sir Toots to be my Sir Toots for ever and ever. We have matching wedding tattoos to prove it.

No gifts, please. Knowing that you smile and that you too cherish our love is enough of a present for us.

An All-the-Way-Around Hug

Definition:

Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): wrap around hug; circumference hug·ging
Etymology: strongly of DeRusha origin; akin to a routine hugga in a circle or circumference but more intense: to soothe completely in a round way
1 : to press tightly and completely so that the arms meet in back while comforting another.
2: the most complete way to show true affection or adoration. usually accompanied by a wet kiss to the cheek.

My "Mother of The Year" badge is around here somewhere

Sweet Center has the sickness now. Our pediatricians office is the greatest and they got us in right away to wipe it out with some killer antibiotics. Poor kid. Yesterday was a not so good day for him. They got off to a late start and he was late to school. Then I got the call from the Asst. Principal, who notifiied me that if he is late 10 times in a school year, Hubba Hubba and I have to go before a judge and explain why we feel like being a hindrance to our kid's education. The next call was the school nurse letting me know that the child I sent to school that morning was sick. Really sick. Not just in the way that he's jealous that his brother gets to stay home and watch cartoons and isn't is his turn sick? This kid is really sick. Come get him, you moron.

This feeling of parental inadequacy started a few weeks ago. Sweet Center has been having some problems in school and at home. He truly is the greatest kid. I know every mother feels this way, but he really is! He has this great habit of wanting to do the right thing. His heart is huge and he (tries to) think of others. Unfortunately, lately he has struggled with some general sadness. Hubba Hubba and I sat down with him to talk about it. I believe Sweet Centers words were, "I just feel funny inside. Like I'm sad inside." This feeling started shortly after we put his beloved Lab to sleep. We really had no choice and it was a hard decision, but one that had to be made. Sweet Center has kept the dogs tags and wants to frame them. My heart breaks even thinking about the look on his face as he said this. I can't breathe when I think about it. My response was to talk to a specialist. In no way do I want Sweet Center to feel this way. I want him to have complete faith in his ability to deal with anything that life throws at him.
So, the therapist is a nice man. He reminds us of Santa Claus. White beard, twinkle in his eye. The whole tender bit. We like him.

Well, the last visit it was just me and Sweet Center. We spent the time talking about what Sweet Center likes to do to fill his time. What's a normal day like? Well, there's no TV or video games on school nights. But, somehow it appeared that all the kid does is spend his time plugged into something electronic. The one bright spot is his bedtime ritual, which resolves around Hubba Hubba reading to him. Saturday mornings are full of the two of them playing video games. It's their bonding time. I don't get it, I have no coordination in handling the little control and playing the game at the same time. Likewise my involvement in the reading time. I seem to be a hindrance to the actual reading part. It could because I'm trying to keep Sir Toots occupied while they read. Or it could just be because I keep thinking of the dishes and laundry that aren't getting themselves clean. I can't just lay there, for goodness sake! There are things to get done!

Anyway, the sweet therapist (whom, I really truly do like- did I mention that?) looks at me and ask what I do. What's my interaction consist of with Sweet Center? Well, geez, we play, I promise. We run around outside like crazy banshees and toss balls and draw on the sidewalk with chalk and ride scooters to terrorize the neighbors. Evidently this doesn't cut it for Sweet Center. His discussion centered around playing with his father. His father, who wasn't there to back me up. His father, who would assure the kindly man that I am a good mother. That I love my son with every single frickin' fiber of my being. Actually, Sweet Center did give me that. He did say that he knew I loved him.

But, see I'm MOM, I wanted to shout. I have to do the really important stuff.
Is your homework complete? Have you taken your medicine? Your allergies aren't going away of their own free will, you know. Have you brushed your teeth? Has your hair been cleaned sometime in the last week? Are those clean socks? and underwear? Please, put on clean socks and underwear. You never know could happen out there. You need clean socks and underwear. Oh, and honey, is your hamster still even alive? Does he have fresh water?

As I'm sitting there thinking these things, I realize that it's not about what I do or don't do. It's about Sweet Center. It's about making sure he is okay. It's making sure that he doesn't feel sad. It's about developing behavorial habits that will ensure he feels confident in himself and his abilities. I don't care if I ever win a badge for my duties. Being recognized for service to man and country isn't in my job description. The only thing that counts is whether or not my kid utterly and truly knows he is loved. Badge or no badge, as long as Sweet Center knows the really important stuff, then it's okay. Even if he does leave the house in dirty underwear.

Love is...

1) Running through Walgreen's, shoving people out of the way, so that a 4 year old can throw up in the bathroom and not in the middle of the toy aisle.

2) Retrieving the correct fork at the request (nay, demand!) of the same child so that he may eat his waffles the way God intended.

3) Jumping out of the shower at the sound of a bloodcurling scream coming from the living room where said child is watching a movie, only to discover that the blanket has dislodged itself and needs to be placed back on top of his prone body laying 30 inches away.

4) Running upstairs at the sound of "MAMA!" so that the special cup may be picked up and handed it to a deeply thirsty sick child who seems to have lost all ability to reach his nightstand.

5) Kissing the feverish brow of a sweet little boy as his body shakes and then says that he doesn't feel sick and he really needs to "partricipate" in soccer practice.

6) The precious sound of Sir Toots husky voice as he tells me that he "weally wuvs me a wot."

oh Pumpkin, Mama loves you, too.

You put your right arm in....

Riding in the car yesterday talking to The Boys. A sweet neighbor was kind enough to give us tickets to a major league baskeball game for yesterday afternoon. How swell is baseball on a Sunday afternoon?!? Sweet Center went to her house to pick the tickets up.
Side Note: I have this fear that my children will, God forbid, forget to appropriately thank someone when I'm not around. This fear ranks right up there with worrying that, thanks to current White House policy, my grandchildren will not get to enjoy public parks or something.
Anyway, I asked just to make sure that Sweet Center showed his appreciation when he was given the tickets. He grunted in the affirmative and kept playing his gameboy.
Well, Sir Toots joins in the conversation by asking,"Did you raise your hand? Huh? Did you raise your hand before you talked to her?"

I wanted to start singing: Do the Hokey-Pokey. You put your right arm in and you shake it all about....

I guess Hubba Hubba and I have beaten that horse to death, huh? The good news is that it's actually working at school! We've gotten two good reports on his behavior since we started the whole raise-your-hand-to-make-sure-it's-okay-to-talk ritual.

And really, That's What It's All About!!