Today after a difficult afternoon, Sir Toot's look at me and says, "It's just my brain. It forgets to rewind itself and I lose my place."
I think this a great summation of ADHD and what we live with everyday. Turns out his teacher has 2 boys with ADHD and so she is well aware of his struggles to stay in his seat and complete his work. I like that she doesn't blame him and make him feel bad about himself- it's his brain that causing all the problems really. It's so important that he continue to think he's the greatest kid since sliced bread!
Anyway, I met with the psychologist yesterday and I have to be honest...my first thought was I ended up in Andre the Giant's office. Once I got over my shock, I found him to be a very nice man. Dr. Mac made a reference to a book series that I love (the Mitford series) and so I knew we would get along fine. He wants to meet Sir Toots next week and then we'll go from there. I just hope he doesn't scare the poor kid!
On the job search front: I am officially over my quarter life crisis and have entered the phase of reentering the workforce with the hopes that I haven't completely derailed my career. I miss the day to day challenges that come with a real job and I'm hoping that a few things I have in the pipeline will work out. I have some great support and know that something will hit that's right up my alley! Besides, Yvette, my psychic, says that there's something on the horizon for me that will use my skills but force me to learn something new. That's exactly what I'm looking for! Let's just hope it pays well. :) I'm believing in it and focusing on making it happen when the timing is right.
***WAIT!**** I just reread this and it totally sounds like I'm still stuck in some kind of crisis! Between the shrink and the psychic, I have crazy all wrapped up. :)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Today I am Thankful For....
1) A POSITIVE REFERRAL for Sir Toots! YEA!
2) A husband who is supportive and doesn't think I'm too nuts!
3) Boys who still love to wrestle and cuddle.
4) Friends who will help me move a couch just because I want a new look in the living room.
5) Unlimited Opportunities!
6) Friends who have great blogs to remind to stay focused on the good in this life.
7) Finding a psychologist for Sir Toots who doesn't want to slap a label on him UNTIL we have turned over every rock and looked at all the possibilities. We have a meeting with him next week and he wants to focus on behavior modification before we do anything related to ADHD. I'm not denying a problem....I just want to make sure that we are really looking at the big picture and not just looking for a quick fix.
8) Boys who make good choices.
9) Boys who don't complain (too much!) when they realize they made a bad choice.
10) The ability to recognize that The Boys need to make choices for themselves so that when they grow up they can make good choices without a lot of effort.
2) A husband who is supportive and doesn't think I'm too nuts!
3) Boys who still love to wrestle and cuddle.
4) Friends who will help me move a couch just because I want a new look in the living room.
5) Unlimited Opportunities!
6) Friends who have great blogs to remind to stay focused on the good in this life.
7) Finding a psychologist for Sir Toots who doesn't want to slap a label on him UNTIL we have turned over every rock and looked at all the possibilities. We have a meeting with him next week and he wants to focus on behavior modification before we do anything related to ADHD. I'm not denying a problem....I just want to make sure that we are really looking at the big picture and not just looking for a quick fix.
8) Boys who make good choices.
9) Boys who don't complain (too much!) when they realize they made a bad choice.
10) The ability to recognize that The Boys need to make choices for themselves so that when they grow up they can make good choices without a lot of effort.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Humor in all things
oh yes, I forgot to mention that a hamster died. We figure old age.
Sweet Center: Well, at least he learned a new trick.
Me: What trick?
Sweet Center: He finally learned how to play dead.
Burial services tomorrow under the peach tree in the backyard.
Sweet Center: Well, at least he learned a new trick.
Me: What trick?
Sweet Center: He finally learned how to play dead.
Burial services tomorrow under the peach tree in the backyard.
Denial, Anger and moving towards Acceptance
I met with Sir Toot's kindergarten teacher yesterday and I'm still trying to process the fact that it appears we have another child with special needs. Yes, ADHD is called special needs because raising a child with this disorder is not like raising a "normal" child. Hubba Hubba and I have to focus on helping Sweet Center in different ways than other parents help their children. I was so hoping that Sir Toots would get the swing of things and move right into school with no issues. I wanted that so badly and was even going so far as to refuse to do any sort of evaluation on him when I continued to get calls from the school.
But, I had to stop and ask myself how that benefits him. Does my holding onto my perceived reality really mean everything is okay with him? What about the kids he's hitting and the property he is destroying at school? Don't I have a responsibility as his mother to see past my denial and accept that we need to do something different? Just because he doesn't act like Sweet Center doesn't mean anything. It just means that ADHD is manifesting differently in him.
And that's the rub. This complex and so easily dismissed disorder is not easy to define or categorize. "He's just all boy" & "It's cute how he stands up for himself" and my personal favorite "Don't worry, he's not like his brother" make me want to scream. Like not being like his brother is a good thing? What the hell is wrong with his brother?
I'm angry and disappointed that this is happening to my second child. I'm angry that I have to be different. I'm angry that it's not normal around our house. I'm angry that I can't just relax and let them coast for a while because there's always some new drama coming on. I'm angry that I can't take them to the grocery store without having to threaten them and then I feel like a bitch afterwards. It is different. Our life is different because of ADHD and I'm tired of being told that it's not that bad. I know that I have it easier than parents with "real disabled children." But dammit, it's not easy and I'm tired.
Tomorrow I will appreciate all the things that they do that are different and special and unique. Sweet Center is amazing with numbers and god, does he have an imagination. Sir Toots is my little no nonsense squirt who manages to get in the middle of everything. Tomorrow I promise that I will wake up and give them what they need so that we can clean their rooms. Step by step directions and simple tasks.
But today, today I'm tired. and sad. I'm sad that things won't always be easy for them. Both of them will have to learn coping skills above and beyond their peers. They have to teach themselves to stop and not act out in the moment.
Tomorrow I will hold Hubba Hubba's hand and hope that we are giving them what they need so that they don't become a statistic and do drugs or drop out of school or suffer from low self esteem.
I'm hoping that our love is enough to give them faith in themselves. Regardless of what some stupid evaluation tells me about My Boys.
But, I had to stop and ask myself how that benefits him. Does my holding onto my perceived reality really mean everything is okay with him? What about the kids he's hitting and the property he is destroying at school? Don't I have a responsibility as his mother to see past my denial and accept that we need to do something different? Just because he doesn't act like Sweet Center doesn't mean anything. It just means that ADHD is manifesting differently in him.
And that's the rub. This complex and so easily dismissed disorder is not easy to define or categorize. "He's just all boy" & "It's cute how he stands up for himself" and my personal favorite "Don't worry, he's not like his brother" make me want to scream. Like not being like his brother is a good thing? What the hell is wrong with his brother?
I'm angry and disappointed that this is happening to my second child. I'm angry that I have to be different. I'm angry that it's not normal around our house. I'm angry that I can't just relax and let them coast for a while because there's always some new drama coming on. I'm angry that I can't take them to the grocery store without having to threaten them and then I feel like a bitch afterwards. It is different. Our life is different because of ADHD and I'm tired of being told that it's not that bad. I know that I have it easier than parents with "real disabled children." But dammit, it's not easy and I'm tired.
Tomorrow I will appreciate all the things that they do that are different and special and unique. Sweet Center is amazing with numbers and god, does he have an imagination. Sir Toots is my little no nonsense squirt who manages to get in the middle of everything. Tomorrow I promise that I will wake up and give them what they need so that we can clean their rooms. Step by step directions and simple tasks.
But today, today I'm tired. and sad. I'm sad that things won't always be easy for them. Both of them will have to learn coping skills above and beyond their peers. They have to teach themselves to stop and not act out in the moment.
Tomorrow I will hold Hubba Hubba's hand and hope that we are giving them what they need so that they don't become a statistic and do drugs or drop out of school or suffer from low self esteem.
I'm hoping that our love is enough to give them faith in themselves. Regardless of what some stupid evaluation tells me about My Boys.
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