http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061128/ap_on_fe_st/long_marriage
It makes me close the computer and go wrap myself around Hubba Hubba like a monkey.
Good night.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Angel gifts and other blessings
Well, Thanksgiving was good. We spent time with the family and drug my poor Pop all over Dallas/Ft Worth. Celebrating the holidays with him is something that I really enjoy about being back in Texas and watching him with The Boys is a special treat for all of us.
One of the greatest things over the weekend was the purchase of the annual Angel Gift. We usually pull a name from the tree at the mall and then scout out a gift to leave on the same day. This year Sweet Centers class adopted a little boy and a little girl so we figured that would be a nice way to go and we knew that the kid lives in our community. Sweet Center brought the list home and we looked over the Needs and the Wants on his (we chose the little boy) list. The needs were things like clothes and socks. (To know a child needs these things renders my heart in two because I can't tell you how many times I've cursed at all the laundry that is done around here. With clothes still in the closet, I have an abundance of socks, underwear and all around ridiculous t-shirts to wash.) As for the Want items, he listed a bike. A bike, you know, like we have in our garage that never gets ridden because there are too many other toys to play with and it really doesn't seem all that cool outside of the store now, anyway.
So, Sweet Center wanted to buy the Want item-a bike. Of course, to a 9 year old buying a bike is way cooler then socks and shirts. I told him that we would see about it but couldn't guarantee that we would buy the bike ourselves. Maybe it would be something that we split with another family. He said he understood but still feels a bit of the shaft from the whole teacher gift episode from earlier this year. (If I haven't told you about how he got screwed on that whole thing and you really want to know, then call/email and ask. Writing about it now would be pointless since it's been resolved and all parties involved have been properly addressed. And really, it still ticks me off to no end!)
Anyway, over the weekend we go to Toys R Us to scout out some fun items for The Boys to put in their Dear Santa letter. We're walking every single aisle and I'm trying not to rush them when we wander into the bike area. Bright shiny bikes. Sweet Center looks at me and says, "We could do one these bikes for the little boy, Mom. They have a lot and we could find one for him." Yes, it's that feeling again. The one where you feel a bit guilty for all the things you have and others don't. Right there in the middle of the store, he looks at me with those big brown eyes and tells me that we should help other people. Yes, dammit, I know that! I just haven't figured out how to feed the world and bring about world peace. Oh, yes and still manage to balance the check book.
So, I'm going through that sales flyers later that day and see that Toys R Us is having a sale. On bikes. 50% off some models. I look up and see The Boys playing. All sweet and light. And then I realize that I don't have to save the whole world. Just do what we can to bring a smile to one little boy on Christmas. So, we all loaded up and went shopping for a bike.
It's red and shiny and Sweet Center thinks its perfect. Oh, we talked about sacrifice and how sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to help others. Not exactly in those words because Hubba Hubba and I wanted to make sure that The Boys knew what we were talking about, after all.
And talking about it helped me realize that sometimes we forget. We forget the little things that we can do to make a difference. I can't feed everyone and I can't really jump in and help Bush figure out what to do with the mess he's made in Iraq, but we could spend $50 and buy a bike for a little boy who Wants one. And hopefully teach my children how lucky they are in the process.
One of the greatest things over the weekend was the purchase of the annual Angel Gift. We usually pull a name from the tree at the mall and then scout out a gift to leave on the same day. This year Sweet Centers class adopted a little boy and a little girl so we figured that would be a nice way to go and we knew that the kid lives in our community. Sweet Center brought the list home and we looked over the Needs and the Wants on his (we chose the little boy) list. The needs were things like clothes and socks. (To know a child needs these things renders my heart in two because I can't tell you how many times I've cursed at all the laundry that is done around here. With clothes still in the closet, I have an abundance of socks, underwear and all around ridiculous t-shirts to wash.) As for the Want items, he listed a bike. A bike, you know, like we have in our garage that never gets ridden because there are too many other toys to play with and it really doesn't seem all that cool outside of the store now, anyway.
So, Sweet Center wanted to buy the Want item-a bike. Of course, to a 9 year old buying a bike is way cooler then socks and shirts. I told him that we would see about it but couldn't guarantee that we would buy the bike ourselves. Maybe it would be something that we split with another family. He said he understood but still feels a bit of the shaft from the whole teacher gift episode from earlier this year. (If I haven't told you about how he got screwed on that whole thing and you really want to know, then call/email and ask. Writing about it now would be pointless since it's been resolved and all parties involved have been properly addressed. And really, it still ticks me off to no end!)
Anyway, over the weekend we go to Toys R Us to scout out some fun items for The Boys to put in their Dear Santa letter. We're walking every single aisle and I'm trying not to rush them when we wander into the bike area. Bright shiny bikes. Sweet Center looks at me and says, "We could do one these bikes for the little boy, Mom. They have a lot and we could find one for him." Yes, it's that feeling again. The one where you feel a bit guilty for all the things you have and others don't. Right there in the middle of the store, he looks at me with those big brown eyes and tells me that we should help other people. Yes, dammit, I know that! I just haven't figured out how to feed the world and bring about world peace. Oh, yes and still manage to balance the check book.
So, I'm going through that sales flyers later that day and see that Toys R Us is having a sale. On bikes. 50% off some models. I look up and see The Boys playing. All sweet and light. And then I realize that I don't have to save the whole world. Just do what we can to bring a smile to one little boy on Christmas. So, we all loaded up and went shopping for a bike.
It's red and shiny and Sweet Center thinks its perfect. Oh, we talked about sacrifice and how sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to help others. Not exactly in those words because Hubba Hubba and I wanted to make sure that The Boys knew what we were talking about, after all.
And talking about it helped me realize that sometimes we forget. We forget the little things that we can do to make a difference. I can't feed everyone and I can't really jump in and help Bush figure out what to do with the mess he's made in Iraq, but we could spend $50 and buy a bike for a little boy who Wants one. And hopefully teach my children how lucky they are in the process.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Whooped
Wrestling and tickling on our bed with The Boys. It's their favorite pastime and delay tactic when we mention going to bed for the evening. They just know we can't resist!
Anyway, Sir Toots is struggling mightily to get the upperhand with Sweet Center. Pulling on the covers and trying to climb over me to get to him- the whole involved mess just to lay a finger on Sweet Center's belly and say that he's tickling him.
I swing out of the way and let Sir Toots fly by. He lands heads first, entire fist splayed on Sweet Center's belly.
"Whooo Hooo!" Sir Toots shouts
"He got WHOOPED!"
I told you there's magic in our house.
Anyway, Sir Toots is struggling mightily to get the upperhand with Sweet Center. Pulling on the covers and trying to climb over me to get to him- the whole involved mess just to lay a finger on Sweet Center's belly and say that he's tickling him.
I swing out of the way and let Sir Toots fly by. He lands heads first, entire fist splayed on Sweet Center's belly.
"Whooo Hooo!" Sir Toots shouts
"He got WHOOPED!"
I told you there's magic in our house.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
street lush
You all remember when I scared the neighborhood husbands in my pajamas, right?
Well, evidently I also have the tag as the 'Street Lush'.
We had a surprise party for one of the wives on the street the same night that another girl had an interior decorating party and none of us on the street could make it to both. Just received an email about the catalog for the party and she has invited us all down to for afternoon tea to take a look at the specials that were being offered only to us on. Limited Time Only, of course. Anyway, in her email she said she would open the alcohol cabinet if anyone wanted anything stronger then tea. AND THEN IN PARENTHESIS (..........RACHEL!)
What the hell does that mean?!? Now, I will admit to drinking at neighborhood gatherings, but I swear I could count on one hand the number of times I shouldn't have been behind the wheel of my car in the last year. And Hubba Hubba has always been with me and he never once told me that I was some kind of delinquent who has an issue with alcohol. I haven't been fall down drunk since....well, hell I don't know since when. Probably back when Hubba Hubba and I were dating and I WAS a deliquent who had a problem with alcohol. Not that he drove me to drink or anything. :) It's just been like 10 years since I've been out of control. I have found that the fear that I may get a call about The Boys severly curtails the ability to really let loose.
"Yes, hellllo, doctor. How is my son? Me? Drinking, why no, you silly man. I'm perfectly capapble of making important medical decisions in this state. No, really I'm fine. Please just point me in the right direction and all will be well."
Yea, that would be nice. And totally the fear that I live with whenever I consume more than 1 alcoholic beverage.
Although, I think I may start watching Desperate Housewives so I know how I'm really supposed to behave with my new title. Martini glass in one hand and doggy leash in the other watching the kiddos play in the street makes a nice picture, doesn't it? If I'm going to get the reputation, shouldn't I at least get to enjoy what I'm being accused of? I'm totally kidding. Really I am.
Until The Boys go off to college, I'm going to enjoy my 2 daily beverages in the privacy of my own home. 'Home Lush' has such a nicer ring to it.
*****Please note*****
This is a totally sarcastic post. I often use sarcasm (the lowest level of humor) to handle situations that irritate me. I really don't want to have that kind of reputation. But I don't think there's anything wrong with consuming an alcoholic beverage in front of The Boys. They need to know that everything in moderation is good. Besides, I live in Texas. Ain't nothing but Puritans around here. Except for the friend who sent me the email. We are the ones who do ocassionally enjoy a good mixed drink. We aren't sure about the rest of them.
AND, I know I missed Thursday 13. I tried to come up with 13 reason I like being married. Came up blank. Now, I am kidding. I told Hubba Hubba I was going to write something nasty about him and since he doesn't read this blog he won't ever know. :) We'll see if I get a response to that!
Well, evidently I also have the tag as the 'Street Lush'.
We had a surprise party for one of the wives on the street the same night that another girl had an interior decorating party and none of us on the street could make it to both. Just received an email about the catalog for the party and she has invited us all down to for afternoon tea to take a look at the specials that were being offered only to us on. Limited Time Only, of course. Anyway, in her email she said she would open the alcohol cabinet if anyone wanted anything stronger then tea. AND THEN IN PARENTHESIS (..........RACHEL!)
What the hell does that mean?!? Now, I will admit to drinking at neighborhood gatherings, but I swear I could count on one hand the number of times I shouldn't have been behind the wheel of my car in the last year. And Hubba Hubba has always been with me and he never once told me that I was some kind of delinquent who has an issue with alcohol. I haven't been fall down drunk since....well, hell I don't know since when. Probably back when Hubba Hubba and I were dating and I WAS a deliquent who had a problem with alcohol. Not that he drove me to drink or anything. :) It's just been like 10 years since I've been out of control. I have found that the fear that I may get a call about The Boys severly curtails the ability to really let loose.
"Yes, hellllo, doctor. How is my son? Me? Drinking, why no, you silly man. I'm perfectly capapble of making important medical decisions in this state. No, really I'm fine. Please just point me in the right direction and all will be well."
Yea, that would be nice. And totally the fear that I live with whenever I consume more than 1 alcoholic beverage.
Although, I think I may start watching Desperate Housewives so I know how I'm really supposed to behave with my new title. Martini glass in one hand and doggy leash in the other watching the kiddos play in the street makes a nice picture, doesn't it? If I'm going to get the reputation, shouldn't I at least get to enjoy what I'm being accused of? I'm totally kidding. Really I am.
Until The Boys go off to college, I'm going to enjoy my 2 daily beverages in the privacy of my own home. 'Home Lush' has such a nicer ring to it.
*****Please note*****
This is a totally sarcastic post. I often use sarcasm (the lowest level of humor) to handle situations that irritate me. I really don't want to have that kind of reputation. But I don't think there's anything wrong with consuming an alcoholic beverage in front of The Boys. They need to know that everything in moderation is good. Besides, I live in Texas. Ain't nothing but Puritans around here. Except for the friend who sent me the email. We are the ones who do ocassionally enjoy a good mixed drink. We aren't sure about the rest of them.
AND, I know I missed Thursday 13. I tried to come up with 13 reason I like being married. Came up blank. Now, I am kidding. I told Hubba Hubba I was going to write something nasty about him and since he doesn't read this blog he won't ever know. :) We'll see if I get a response to that!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Please allow me to introduce you to Ms. Maria!
This is the woman who will save my sanity! I feel like Wonder Woman today! And she did all the work!
Who is this woman who can invoke such a change in me you ask? Why, please look closely and you will see that she is the new miracle maker who cleans, polishes, and wipes down every surface in our dust bunny infested home! I believe she found a nook or cranny that I haven't seen since before we moved boxes into our home on Dec 23rd, 2004.
I am revitalized! I actually feel that I can accomplish all that is inked on the to do list with my name! No dirty toilets lurking in the back of my mind. No longer are they calling out my name and wondering at the injustice of staying dirty from the last visit of certain Boys who insist upon leaving a bit of themselves behind. No lost books behind the bed! I do believe that Sir Toots was as surprised as I was when he looked into his closet and saw the floor! The floor, I say! The carpeting and nothing else!
I feel that I must begin the search for a cape. After all, Wonder Woman was nothing without her cape. If I am to continue to feel that I can accomplish all my tasks, I must be properly attired. I actually finished the laundry, a major report for work, and started on my final paper for school. Yes, all today! I tell you, this is magic! or maybe just bliss. Yes, I definitely think bliss is the right word.
I must admit though, the cape may have to wait. Sweet Center asked if I could be Room Mom for his class next year. He got a bit screwed by this year's mom and so he's hedging his bets and hoping that I will give him a better shake. I definitely don't feel up to the task of managing 30 kids and all 9 holiday parties. Regardless of how clean my toilets are.
Who is this woman who can invoke such a change in me you ask? Why, please look closely and you will see that she is the new miracle maker who cleans, polishes, and wipes down every surface in our dust bunny infested home! I believe she found a nook or cranny that I haven't seen since before we moved boxes into our home on Dec 23rd, 2004.
I am revitalized! I actually feel that I can accomplish all that is inked on the to do list with my name! No dirty toilets lurking in the back of my mind. No longer are they calling out my name and wondering at the injustice of staying dirty from the last visit of certain Boys who insist upon leaving a bit of themselves behind. No lost books behind the bed! I do believe that Sir Toots was as surprised as I was when he looked into his closet and saw the floor! The floor, I say! The carpeting and nothing else!
I feel that I must begin the search for a cape. After all, Wonder Woman was nothing without her cape. If I am to continue to feel that I can accomplish all my tasks, I must be properly attired. I actually finished the laundry, a major report for work, and started on my final paper for school. Yes, all today! I tell you, this is magic! or maybe just bliss. Yes, I definitely think bliss is the right word.
I must admit though, the cape may have to wait. Sweet Center asked if I could be Room Mom for his class next year. He got a bit screwed by this year's mom and so he's hedging his bets and hoping that I will give him a better shake. I definitely don't feel up to the task of managing 30 kids and all 9 holiday parties. Regardless of how clean my toilets are.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Things I Learned from my Pop:
13) Never judge someone by one interaction. You never know what's going in their world.
12) Be patient.
11) Always say nice things, even when (especially when!) the dark & twisty side of me wants to come out and play.
10) Believe in the power of prayer.
9) That Education is invaluable. It could take me places, if I worked hard enough.
8) Dream. And then Believe in The Dream.
7) Loving someone sometimes hurts, but you get up and dust yourself off and try again.
6) That I'm a wife first and a mother second. I remember he told me this when Sweet Center was born. I've tried to follow it for nine years. I hope The Boys know that our love for them is made better by our love for each other.
5) Nothing beats a good movie and buttered popcorn for a little solid downtime.
4) Work Hard. No matter the job, do it right the first time.
3) Live One Day at a Time. You can't predict the future so there's no sense worrying about it.
2) How to Be Responsible for my actions.
1) That a Hug from someone you love is the greatest thing in the world.
Pop,
I'm not sure how to capture all the life lessons you have passed on to me. By your spirit and presence, I have learned many things that continue to shape the wife, mother, and person I am becoming. I am only beginning to understand the sacrificies you and mom made for us as a family. Thank you.
Here are the lyrics for the song I played for you at your 50th Birthday. It seems so like you and the love you have shared with me. I remember making you dance with me and it played on this old tape player that Aunt Crisi brought. You were so embarrased that I made you dance in front of everyone. Oh, how I love to hear you laugh like you did that day.
THAT'S MY JOB
Recorded by Conway Twitty
Writer: Hap Hall?
I woke up cryin' late at night - when I was very young
I had dreamed my father - had passed away and gone
My world revolved around him - I couldn't lie there anymore
So I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door.
And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid!
How would I go on, with you gone that way?
Don't wanna cry anymore
So may I stay with you?"
And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Everything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."
Later we barely got along - this teenage boy and he
Most of the fights it seems - were over different dreams
We each held for me ...
He wanted knowledge and learning - I wanted to fly out west
"Said I could make it out there - if I just had the fare
I got half, will you loan me the rest?"
And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid
Theres no guarentee in the plans I've made
And if I should fail, who will pay my way back home?"
And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Ev'rything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."
Every person carves his spot - and fills the hole with life
And I pray someday I might - light as bright as he.
13) Never judge someone by one interaction. You never know what's going in their world.
12) Be patient.
11) Always say nice things, even when (especially when!) the dark & twisty side of me wants to come out and play.
10) Believe in the power of prayer.
9) That Education is invaluable. It could take me places, if I worked hard enough.
8) Dream. And then Believe in The Dream.
7) Loving someone sometimes hurts, but you get up and dust yourself off and try again.
6) That I'm a wife first and a mother second. I remember he told me this when Sweet Center was born. I've tried to follow it for nine years. I hope The Boys know that our love for them is made better by our love for each other.
5) Nothing beats a good movie and buttered popcorn for a little solid downtime.
4) Work Hard. No matter the job, do it right the first time.
3) Live One Day at a Time. You can't predict the future so there's no sense worrying about it.
2) How to Be Responsible for my actions.
1) That a Hug from someone you love is the greatest thing in the world.
Pop,
I'm not sure how to capture all the life lessons you have passed on to me. By your spirit and presence, I have learned many things that continue to shape the wife, mother, and person I am becoming. I am only beginning to understand the sacrificies you and mom made for us as a family. Thank you.
Here are the lyrics for the song I played for you at your 50th Birthday. It seems so like you and the love you have shared with me. I remember making you dance with me and it played on this old tape player that Aunt Crisi brought. You were so embarrased that I made you dance in front of everyone. Oh, how I love to hear you laugh like you did that day.
THAT'S MY JOB
Recorded by Conway Twitty
Writer: Hap Hall?
I woke up cryin' late at night - when I was very young
I had dreamed my father - had passed away and gone
My world revolved around him - I couldn't lie there anymore
So I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door.
And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid!
How would I go on, with you gone that way?
Don't wanna cry anymore
So may I stay with you?"
And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Everything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."
Later we barely got along - this teenage boy and he
Most of the fights it seems - were over different dreams
We each held for me ...
He wanted knowledge and learning - I wanted to fly out west
"Said I could make it out there - if I just had the fare
I got half, will you loan me the rest?"
And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid
Theres no guarentee in the plans I've made
And if I should fail, who will pay my way back home?"
And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Ev'rything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."
Every person carves his spot - and fills the hole with life
And I pray someday I might - light as bright as he.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I missed Thursday Thirteen
For some reason, blooger lost this entry. It was originally posted on Friday, November 3, 2006.
Well, that didn't take long. I got it down for 2 whole weeks and then I missed a Thursday.
The list for the week is Friday Fifteen Things I Love about Sweet Center.
15) His excitement when he gets a 100 on a spelling test.
14) The generous way he shares everything with Sir Toots. Even when Sir Toots is being a stinker, his big brother always shares.
13) The look of total concentration on his face when he's playing video games.
12) The sound of his voice when he's reading a book for the first time out loud.
11) The way he barters and neogiates for everything!
10) How he always kicks the covers off at night. I can put them back on and yet they never stay put.
9) The way he plays with Sir Toots. So very kind. He once told some friends to be nicer to Sir Toots or they would have to go home.
8) The look on his face when I tell him to brush his teeth. You'd think I was telling him to go pull them out.
7) The sounds he makes when eating cereal. Slurp!
6) How brave he is when he gets his weekly allergy shot. One shot, each arm and no complaining.
5) The way his hair curls up and around his ears
4) The grin, oh gosh, the grin when he wants something really special. It lights up his eyes!
3) His hands. Big and yet small at the same time. They are so very lovely.
2) His snort when he really gets to laughing.
1) The way he curls up in my lap, still at nine, he loves to cuddle with Mama.
I originally meant to do a Friday Five and then I kept thinking of more things. He really is a magic kid
Well, that didn't take long. I got it down for 2 whole weeks and then I missed a Thursday.
The list for the week is Friday Fifteen Things I Love about Sweet Center.
15) His excitement when he gets a 100 on a spelling test.
14) The generous way he shares everything with Sir Toots. Even when Sir Toots is being a stinker, his big brother always shares.
13) The look of total concentration on his face when he's playing video games.
12) The sound of his voice when he's reading a book for the first time out loud.
11) The way he barters and neogiates for everything!
10) How he always kicks the covers off at night. I can put them back on and yet they never stay put.
9) The way he plays with Sir Toots. So very kind. He once told some friends to be nicer to Sir Toots or they would have to go home.
8) The look on his face when I tell him to brush his teeth. You'd think I was telling him to go pull them out.
7) The sounds he makes when eating cereal. Slurp!
6) How brave he is when he gets his weekly allergy shot. One shot, each arm and no complaining.
5) The way his hair curls up and around his ears
4) The grin, oh gosh, the grin when he wants something really special. It lights up his eyes!
3) His hands. Big and yet small at the same time. They are so very lovely.
2) His snort when he really gets to laughing.
1) The way he curls up in my lap, still at nine, he loves to cuddle with Mama.
I originally meant to do a Friday Five and then I kept thinking of more things. He really is a magic kid
Acceptance
I realize that I usually wax poet about The Boys, but today I feel an irritation for our society. It’s born out of the inability to accept differences and the willingness to parlay into it into political gain. I will never be an eloquent enough writer to adequately portray my feelings, but I want to try.
The Ted Haggard story breaks my heart. For him personally, his children, his wife, and his congregation. And for us as a nation. How do I have the right to say anything? As a happy heterosexual wife and working suburban mother, his challenges and inner struggles are foreign to me. Evidently his struggle is something that even he has not yet come to grips with. As quoted on MSNBC.com: “I am a deceiver and a liar. There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.”
A part of his life so ‘repulsive and dark’ that he feels he must drug himself up and hide away in order to give in to his inner struggle? Of all people, he should, at least at this point, be willing to admit that his homosexual tendencies are beyond choice. I stand in awe of his unwillingness to face that this is not something he can control. Not fear of exposure, not shame for his family, not a misguided spiritual belief, nothing could stop him from seeking out a relationship with another man.
The nation, or at least the one that Ted Haggard closely aligned himself to, is unwilling to give basic rights to others who have chosen to not wage a war against the same temptations. They should be allowed to celebrate their willingness to live authenically. Now, I do not mean temptation in the negative. I consider my own heterosexual tendencies a temptation. The temptation of another human being is a natural inclination, however most of us choose one man or one woman and therefore do not give in to our desires for another sexual partner. In the case of Mr. Haggard, he had one woman AND one man because our nation refuses to accept that biologically we are wired from birth with a preference. How much more could a charismatic leader like Mr. Haggard have accomplished if he had been allowed to pursue a natural relationship from an earlier age? Were he not battling demons, would he have had a greater impact on our society?
I know what the Bible says, I’ve read Paul’s teachings in Romans. I also know how he felt about being married, but that didn't stop me. Forgive me for being a bit peeved at the literalism, but are we to also believe that it’s okay to have two lovers like Abraham just to have a son? I believe David did a few things that were actually listed on the 10 commandments as pretty solid No-No’s. I believe it’s divinely inspired, not actually written in a literal day to day accounting.
If you know me very well, then you are aware of my strict religious upbringing. You know that I have a relationship with God the Father and Jesus the Son. I even let the Holy Spirit join us in the party quite frequently. I no longer speak in tongues, but I do pray in normal inadequate English and believe that He understands my heart and soul. I’m just sick to death of watching my spirituality being played on Fox News for the Value Voter (in James Dobson’s name) and watching an entire group of people choosing to elect representatives not based on the real issues that will matter to our children’s future, but the simple ones like who a person should love. And the liberals bloggers are just as bad right now. Hijacking the downfall of Mr. Haggard to use for policitcal gain is shameful and, quite honestly, I think that's worse than anything that some imagine happens in the closet.
The Ted Haggard story breaks my heart. For him personally, his children, his wife, and his congregation. And for us as a nation. How do I have the right to say anything? As a happy heterosexual wife and working suburban mother, his challenges and inner struggles are foreign to me. Evidently his struggle is something that even he has not yet come to grips with. As quoted on MSNBC.com: “I am a deceiver and a liar. There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.”
A part of his life so ‘repulsive and dark’ that he feels he must drug himself up and hide away in order to give in to his inner struggle? Of all people, he should, at least at this point, be willing to admit that his homosexual tendencies are beyond choice. I stand in awe of his unwillingness to face that this is not something he can control. Not fear of exposure, not shame for his family, not a misguided spiritual belief, nothing could stop him from seeking out a relationship with another man.
The nation, or at least the one that Ted Haggard closely aligned himself to, is unwilling to give basic rights to others who have chosen to not wage a war against the same temptations. They should be allowed to celebrate their willingness to live authenically. Now, I do not mean temptation in the negative. I consider my own heterosexual tendencies a temptation. The temptation of another human being is a natural inclination, however most of us choose one man or one woman and therefore do not give in to our desires for another sexual partner. In the case of Mr. Haggard, he had one woman AND one man because our nation refuses to accept that biologically we are wired from birth with a preference. How much more could a charismatic leader like Mr. Haggard have accomplished if he had been allowed to pursue a natural relationship from an earlier age? Were he not battling demons, would he have had a greater impact on our society?
I know what the Bible says, I’ve read Paul’s teachings in Romans. I also know how he felt about being married, but that didn't stop me. Forgive me for being a bit peeved at the literalism, but are we to also believe that it’s okay to have two lovers like Abraham just to have a son? I believe David did a few things that were actually listed on the 10 commandments as pretty solid No-No’s. I believe it’s divinely inspired, not actually written in a literal day to day accounting.
If you know me very well, then you are aware of my strict religious upbringing. You know that I have a relationship with God the Father and Jesus the Son. I even let the Holy Spirit join us in the party quite frequently. I no longer speak in tongues, but I do pray in normal inadequate English and believe that He understands my heart and soul. I’m just sick to death of watching my spirituality being played on Fox News for the Value Voter (in James Dobson’s name) and watching an entire group of people choosing to elect representatives not based on the real issues that will matter to our children’s future, but the simple ones like who a person should love. And the liberals bloggers are just as bad right now. Hijacking the downfall of Mr. Haggard to use for policitcal gain is shameful and, quite honestly, I think that's worse than anything that some imagine happens in the closet.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Bloody noses and brain injuries
Yesterday I had to be downtown Dallas for a nursing conference and sometime after lunch I get a call from Sir Toots's daycare. Now, viewing caller id and seeing who it was causes my blood pressure to rise just a bit. I try not to panic as I answer it, but when she starts to tell me that there's been an accident I really start to feel the pressure in my chest. Evidently, Sir Toots was running full out and slammed into a pole. Now, I would be right there with you and your small chuckle over this simple playground accident if I hadn't heard him crying in the background. It was a sad cry, not the usual gale force that erupts in true pain. This was a sad little whimper. And I, well, I was 40 minutes away! Completely unable to give in to the itch in my arms to give him an all-the-way-around-hug. They said that they were able to get his bleeding nose under control, but the bump on his head was turning purple. I asked to talk to him on the phone and he doesn't answer me. I can hear a sniffle and then a jagged cry. He finally says, "Mama, I want you."
So, I'm SPEEDING through traffic yelling at the stupid Lexus who cuts me off on the Tollway and then proceeds to stay in my way almost the entire trip north. Then I hit every red light that has been put up in our town, the 2nd fastest growing city in America. Yes, Internet, that's a lot of red lights. I finally make it and run in to see Sir Toots. He's standing at the sink with his favorite teacher and I prepare myself. I must be calm for him so he doesn't know how bad it is. He turns to look at me and you really won't believe this, but he's laughing up a storm! Laughing! I have spent the last 33 minutes imagining every possible horrible thing that could be wrong with his brain and I've called his pediatrician to find out if it's possible to have a broken nose at four. My andrenaline died right there on the spot and I collapsed into a tiny chair and pulled him onto my lap.
So proud! oh, he's so proud of his injury. Ain't it cool that my nose is red and is still bleeding a bit. I AM MAN!
So, I take him to see Dr. Newton anyway, because I know that we will both feel better afterwards. Sir Toots, with his man crush on the pediatrician, and me, because I know that Dr. Newton will look into his eyes with a shining thingy that I don't have at home and tell me that Sir Toots is shaken but that I should keep him anyway. Daycare said that he was unresponsive for a few minutes after he slammed into the pole and so he was diagnosed with a slight concussion, but nothing serious. He starts to walk out the door and then turns back and says, "I think he'll be fine in the morning. No brain damage because it's a soft tissue injury, but sleep with him tonight and wake him every couple of hours just to make sure."
Very calmly, as if this comment shouldn't cause me alarm. Me? Nah, I don't worry about stuff when I'm told it will be fine. Can you feel the sarcasm across the airwaves? Hubba Hubba went to the book fair with Sweet Center and then tucked Sir Toots into bed after they came back. I slept with him tucked under my chin until he got irritated and moved to the foot of our bed.
The good news is that this morning he WAS fine and anxious to get back to his friends. As for me, I'm exhausted. I think I used up my annual supply of adrenaline.
So, I'm SPEEDING through traffic yelling at the stupid Lexus who cuts me off on the Tollway and then proceeds to stay in my way almost the entire trip north. Then I hit every red light that has been put up in our town, the 2nd fastest growing city in America. Yes, Internet, that's a lot of red lights. I finally make it and run in to see Sir Toots. He's standing at the sink with his favorite teacher and I prepare myself. I must be calm for him so he doesn't know how bad it is. He turns to look at me and you really won't believe this, but he's laughing up a storm! Laughing! I have spent the last 33 minutes imagining every possible horrible thing that could be wrong with his brain and I've called his pediatrician to find out if it's possible to have a broken nose at four. My andrenaline died right there on the spot and I collapsed into a tiny chair and pulled him onto my lap.
So proud! oh, he's so proud of his injury. Ain't it cool that my nose is red and is still bleeding a bit. I AM MAN!
So, I take him to see Dr. Newton anyway, because I know that we will both feel better afterwards. Sir Toots, with his man crush on the pediatrician, and me, because I know that Dr. Newton will look into his eyes with a shining thingy that I don't have at home and tell me that Sir Toots is shaken but that I should keep him anyway. Daycare said that he was unresponsive for a few minutes after he slammed into the pole and so he was diagnosed with a slight concussion, but nothing serious. He starts to walk out the door and then turns back and says, "I think he'll be fine in the morning. No brain damage because it's a soft tissue injury, but sleep with him tonight and wake him every couple of hours just to make sure."
Very calmly, as if this comment shouldn't cause me alarm. Me? Nah, I don't worry about stuff when I'm told it will be fine. Can you feel the sarcasm across the airwaves? Hubba Hubba went to the book fair with Sweet Center and then tucked Sir Toots into bed after they came back. I slept with him tucked under my chin until he got irritated and moved to the foot of our bed.
The good news is that this morning he WAS fine and anxious to get back to his friends. As for me, I'm exhausted. I think I used up my annual supply of adrenaline.
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