If you know him, then you know how tender his heart is and how I actually came to nickname him "Sweet Center" instead of just calling him "Messy Curly Haired Kid Who Like to Play Basketball".
So, we had an issue with a mother who was not so nice to him a few weeks ago. Sweet Center was rude to her kid and she was rude back to Sweet Center. I believe her exact words to me were, "I know that it was harsh, but I felt like he was being harsh to my kid and so that's just the way it is." To which I said, "Huh, I thought we were the parents and the responsible ones who were supposed to model adult behavior for our children". I didn't say this out loud, but I thought it and it helped me put her behavior into perspective. Unfortunately her kid is in Sweet Center's class at school. So not only is this kid around the corner from us, but Sweet Center has to see him everyday at school. Well, no wonder I got a call from the school yesterday that Sweet Center didn't feel good. He's not really wanted to go back to school from Christmas break and we just figured it was the typical back to school blues.
Unfortunately it's not. I got a call from his teacher today and we talked for a long time about how he's failed every paper he's turned in over the last two weeks. I mentioned the situation from over the holidays and she told me that she saw Sweet Center talking to this kid last week but they wouldn't tell her what it was about. I can't imagine how hard this must be on him. He is so sensitive and I imagine he's having a hard time seeing this kid since he was so embarrassed by his mother. So, Sweet Center is rushing through his paperwork to go to the bathroom and get on with his day. It's almost like he thinks if he rushes then his day will be over and he can come home.
Really, I can't understand this. I'm not that sensitive or nice. I don't know where this kid gets his sensitive spirit. It's absolutely beatiful and Hubba Hubba and I try to nurture it, but I don't always get it. I always figured that if other kids didn't like me them then screw 'em. I was fortunate in that I always had friends and didn't really suffer from any sort social phobias. Not that I was ever elected Ms. Popularity, but I never worried about other people and their opinions of me.
So, I'm thinking that I have to figure out some serious mom-empathy to help him through this. I can't talk to the mother since she's the one who created this situation. I'm not sure that she would actually rise to the occassion and do the right thing. At this point, we just have to move on. I just need to know how to help him do that.
Gosh, this whole parenting thing is hard. But, I wouldn't trade it to be a kid again.
2 comments:
It is my belief that not only should you talk to the mom in qustion in a rational, logical manner & explain the proper way to correct a child, it is your duty to do so. Our children are helpless inthe face of "authority" & we are here to protect them. Does he need to learn a lesson about the feelings of others - absolutely! Does he need to be belittled &/or treated to an "adult" temper tantrum? No way! This mothet was totally out of line. She had an opportunity to teach appropriate behavior & chose to react as Sweet Center did. Where is the lesson in that? She needs to be made aware of the damage she has done to a child's self esteem & confidence - to me the greater wrong done here. Children will be insensitive & hateful & lots of other things they should not be. Behavior changes need to be made without destroying the child. Shame on her.
Sweet centers Grammy, who is ready to stand up & fight.
It is my belief that not only should you talk to the mom in qustion in a rational, logical manner & explain the proper way to correct a child, it is your duty to do so. Our children are helpless inthe face of "authority" & we are here to protect them. Does he need to learn a lesson about the feelings of others - absolutely! Does he need to be belittled &/or treated to an "adult" temper tantrum? No way! This mothet was totally out of line. She had an opportunity to teach appropriate behavior & chose to react as Sweet Center did. Where is the lesson in that? She needs to be made aware of the damage she has done to a child's self esteem & confidence - to me the greater wrong done here. Children will be insensitive & hateful & lots of other things they should not be. Behavior changes need to be made without destroying the child. Shame on her.
Sweet centers Grammy, who is ready to stand up & fight.
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